mutterings|musings

Book Review: The Weed That Strings The Hangman's Bag by Alan Bradley

2012-02-02T21:28:00.000-05:00

2012: Book 4

I enjoyed this second Flavia de Luce installment nearly as much of the first. A major reason for that is the delightful narration by Jayne Entwistle. It's incredibly charming and a wonderful relief from stress as I commute home from work.

Libby

2012-01-28T21:33:00.000-05:00

Though Munchkin will insist her name is Kitten, I am happy to introduce the newest member of our clan, Libby the Cat.

Two for One Book Reviews!

2012-01-28T15:21:00.001-05:00

2012: Book 2

Love, LOVE, love!!!!

This was a lovely book. I laughed. And cried. And laughed more. And cried more. More review to come...

During the reading of this book, I realized yet again that so much of my knowledge of the European wars (WWI, WWII specifically) has come from history text books. This was probably one of the more "personal" accounts I've come across that examines wartime occupation. As an adult, with adult concerns, it really hits on a deeper level how hellacious life was for those folks. Despite the fact that this wasn't necessarily a "tear-jerker" I closed the book and cried for a full five minutes after lapsing into deep contemplation about what it must have been like to put one's child on a boat for London, only to learn that London is being blitzed, and not seeing that child again for five years. If that happened today, my daughter would be 9 and my son 8 if and when I saw them again. I can't even comprehend that and it just broke my heart to realize what families...mothers...went through during the war. In that vein, there was one moment in the book, which involve the chiming of Big Ben for those who have read it, that make me gasp, giggle, and burst into tears all at the same moment.

I read several reviews and heard from some in the book club in which I read this that the "correspondence" format was difficult. I found that it didn't really bother me, though there were a couple of times when I needed to start a letter over again because I failed to pay enough attention to the "To" and "From" and no longer remembered who was writing to whom.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. It had a lot of lovely humor and affection in it, while somberly and respectfully portraying the stark reality of occupation. If I had any complaint at all the primary would be the characterization of Kit. I know that the author had historically imposed time constraints to deal with, but it seemed as if she wanted to make Kit's character far too developed for what she was chronologically capable of. So it ended up with Kit seeming far too "old" to be four. I kept thinking she was at least seven or eight years old. Though maybe being born and raised during the occupation matures one faster. My second, and lesser complaint, is below the spoiler....

::SPOILER::

I also didn't really love the way Sidney was "outed". I can't quite see why he needed to be a Gay man. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I walked away feeling as if it was done simply to end any speculation that there would be a love triangle between he and Dawsey and Juliet. As if he had to be "eliminated" from contention almost. I don't know...it just didn't sit right as part of the narrative. I know I should applaud the author for being inclusive, but in this case it just seemed unnecessary.

Otherwise it really was a lovely book. I would highly recommended it.

*********************************

2012: Book 3

This was an interesting book...probably not one I would have come across on my own but which was recommended to me by a colleague. As I aspire to one day be a faculty member at an institution of higher education, she thought I might enjoy this glimpse into the inner workings of academe. It is safe to say it is not, as portrayed by Russo, as glamorous as those of us in "student affairs" might think!

Amid side stories of political maneuvers and hostilities, our protagonist finds himself emotionally adrift. He appears to be detached from what is happening around him, with his job, his marriage, his daughters, and his parents, but also from his own identity. He frequently reminds us, "I'm not a/an _____________ but I can play the part." He is an everyman, but also a very uncertain and undefined man. Or so we're led to believe.

The prose is clever and I often found myself chuckling along with Hank's sarcasm, and unique turns of phrase. Very enjoyable.

Cover art for both books from goodreads.com

Happy {4th} Heart Day!!!!

2012-01-28T08:07:00.001-05:00

Four years ago at this very moment, I was sitting in the pre-op room, holding my daughter. She was hungry and fussy. And I was terrified.

It all seems so long ago.

Happy Heart Day, Munchkin. There are no words for my love, gratitude, humility, and joy for that day four years ago. For the amazing little girl you are today.

As there are no words. And the actual event grows farther and farther behind us, I have nothing new to add to our story. So I leave you with this. Our as yet unnamed newest family member. A bit of a Happy Heart Day gift, so to speak.

And some words I've shared on the subject in the past:

"I am a miracle."

"31 for 21: P is for PICU."

"31 for 21: The Darkest Days."

Snowy Saturday

2012-01-21T14:06:00.000-05:00

This winter has been ~~a blessed miracle~~ remarkably un-wintry. We had a freakish snow storm that almost cancelled Halloween, but otherwise it's been an anything but white winter.

It was too good to last.

This morning dawned to several inches of snow on the ground, resulting in my annual obligatory trudge through the front yard with the kiddos. Thankfully Munchkin is not a fan of snow, either, and so our time out of doors was short and sweet. The boys and the dog love it, which is just fine as long as I don't have to be out there. Ha!

Not Too Shabby

2012-01-19T20:49:00.001-05:00

One of the very best parts of having a little side business is that any income earned is not considered "household income". This doesn't work out so well in my little beading business because I have to buy my supplies. But I also do resume and cover letter writing, which is all profit because there is no overhead. Score!

All that is to say that recently I found myself with a little spare cash to spend on myself. Double score! I decided that this occasion called for a splurge. I've gotten myself plenty by way of clothing recently (many of you know of my affinity with dressbarn) but I haven't splurged in half a decade, at least.

Ages and ages ago I discovered a lovely little online boutique called Shabby Apple. My absolute favorite thing about this shop...aside for the gorgeous and unique dresses...is the "shop by body type" function! Narrow it down right to the dresses that fit my pear-shaped curvy self and just skip all those (sublime) pencil skirts for girls with less junk in their trunk than I.

"Washington Square Park"

Image from shabbyapple.com. Clearly, not me.

Right now they are running a 20% off sale site-wide (checkout code NEWYEAR), a portion of the proceeds go toward helping women and children, AND if you follow this {link}, I'll earn some points toward a future splurge-y purchase and you'll get 15% off.

Happy Shopping!

Book Review: Have His Carcase, by Dorothy L. Sayers

2012-01-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

2012: Book 1

Very standard Sayers fare, in which we get to observe Wimsey "courting" Harriet Vane. It's been said that Sayers fell in love with Wimsey, and I often found myself wondering how much of herself was written into Harriet's character. They play well together, and their chemistry is dynamic and charming.

After the deep detail of my last DLS read Five Red Herrings, I felt this book had a much better flow and was more engaging.

Up Next: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

How A Fan Becomes A Fan

2012-01-04T20:38:00.000-05:00

I had an interesting question posed in response to "Family Rivalry" that I felt deserved its own post in response.

My lovely friend Ellen wanted to know if Munchkin and Buddy got to chose the teams they were fans of. It's a long answer...but ultimately, yes. Read on...

M is a New York Football Giants fan. {If you are local to NY and pay attention to football, then you know it needs to be said like that, it it full title of glory.} I am a New England Patriot fan. When I first became pregnant with Munchkin, then called Peanut, my mom bought me a little Patriots outfit for him/her. I should backtrack and explain that I was having major panic about that whole babyinmybellyshitiamgoingtobeamother thing. One day, I hung the little Patriots outfit in our bedroom where I could see it every day. As a reminder that this where we were headed, and it was going to be awesome.

Fast forward to January/February 2008. Munchkin was now 7 months old, finally big enough to fit into her Patriots outfit...and it just so happened to be Super Bowl time! It also just so happened to be Open Heart Surgery time, but that's just back story.

If you take a moment to recall the Super Bowl which occurred in February 2008 it was the New England Patriots versus...

...The New York Football Giants.

M and I find ourselves cooped up in Columbia Presbyterian hospital for 8 days during Super Bowl week, on the opposite sides of the field. What else are we to do? Wager our infant daughter's football soul, of course.

Pats win, she's a Pats fan. Giants win, she's a Giants fan.

The Giants won. Boo hiss. M was thrilled to claim his prize.

When we found out we were expecting B, it stood to reason that I would win him as a Patriots fan by default. And so it went for three years.

On cyber Monday I found a great deal on a Patriots jersey ~~for their old running back who isn't even in the league anymore~~ and decided Buddy needed it. $10. Can't lose. Problem was, when it arrived a few days later, he refused to wear it.

He wanted Daddy's football shirt. Munchkin, on the other hand was only too happy to grab it up.

For Christmas, M's dad got the kids both Giants jerseys. This past Sunday, in honor of the final week of the regular season, M and I put on our jerseys. Buddy asked to wear Daddy's football shirt and happily donned his little bitty Eli jersey. I offered Munchkin both...her new Giants jersey or the cast off Patriots jersey.

She's a smart girl. She knows where it's at.

So, in their own ways, they've each declared their fandoms for themselves.

My New Favorite Picture...EVER!

2012-01-03T22:05:00.000-05:00

Snuggly new jammies. Snuggly new bedtime pals. Pure Love.

Family Rivalry

2012-01-01T14:05:00.001-05:00

2008

2012

How To Celebrate New Year's Eve With Small Children

2012-01-01T11:56:00.001-05:00

Step 1. Invite friends who love your kidlets almost as much as you do.

Step 2: Have those friends bring their children. Best buds in the making.

Step 3: Implement a chillaxin' viewing of Fireman Sam around 9pm to cool the troops off...allowing for a successful sleep over and reasonable 10pm bedtime.

Step 4: After babies are all off to dreamland, the Mamas and Daddys get down to business. Who will reign supreme??

Step 5: There may be call for some mild tormenting of the devil-cat.

Step 6: And finally, celebrate the 8 hours of sleeping children (five for the grown ups!) with Dunkin Donuts for everyone!!!

Munchkin and Buddy's first sleepover was a huge success. We're so lucky to have such good friends with whom to ring in the New Year!

Transitions::Potential

2011-12-31T13:32:00.001-05:00

This morning on Facebook, I posed the following question:

If you could use one word to describe 2011, what would it be?
If you could use one word to set the tone for 2012, what would that word be?

My words were "transitions", and "potential". What are yours??

************

Similarly, a friend posted a quotation from Ayn Rand as her mantra for 2012. It immediately reminded me of a quote I had found a couple of weeks ago, and which frequently comes to mind in my more quiet moments.

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" ~Mary Oliver

Are you noticing a theme here?

2012 is going to be about taking back control. Finding my way, not waiting for things to happen to me. Making change, not hoping for change.

What's your mantra for 2012???

The Books of 2011

2011-12-30T23:48:00.000-05:00

Nearly a year ago, in January 2011, I joined up on the goodreads.com 2011 Reading Challenge. I tried to estimate how many books I could read in a calender year and set the ambitious goal of 30.

Then, I got an e-reader.

Then, I started a book club.

Then, I discovered audiobooks.

And blew my goal of 30 books away by the early Autumn. I ended up reading 42-ish books in 2011.

The Eyre Affair, Jaspar Fforde
The Good Earth, Pearl S. Buck
The Phyisick Book of Deliverance Dane, Katherine Howe
Angry Conversations with God, Susan Isaacs
Lost In A Good Book, Jaspar Fforde
Writing Jane Austen, Elizabeth Aston
Deadly Nightshade, Cynthia Riggs
The Princess Bride, William Goldman
Agatha Christie: A Pocket Guide, Mark Campbell
The Cranefly Orchid Murders, Cynthia Riggs
Whose Body?, Dorothy L. Sayers
Committed, Elizabeth Gilbert
So Much Pretty, Cara Hoffman
Garden Spells, Sarah Addison Allen
The Last Time I Was Me, Cathy Lamb
Clouds of Witness, Dorothy L. Sayers
The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, Aimee Bender
The Remains of The Day, Kazuo Ishiguro
The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Alexander McCall Smith
Lye In Wait, Cricket McRae
The Help, Kathryn Stockett
Heaven Preserve Us, Cricket McRae
The Peach Keeper, Sarah Addison Allen
The Sugar Queen, Sarah Addison Allen
Here On Earth, Alice Hoffman
Unnatural Death, Dorothy L. Sayers
One Thousand White Women, Jim Fergus
Spin A Wicked Web, Cricket McRae
The Unpleasantness of the Bellona Club, Dorothy L. Sayers
Lord Peter Views The Body, Dorothy L. Sayers
Maisie Dobb, Jacqueline Winspar
The Attenbury Emeralds, Jill Patton Walsh
The Friday Night Knitting Club, Kate Jacobs
Death On The Air, Ngaio Marsh
Something Borrowed, Something Bleu, Cricket McRae
The Girl Who Chased the Moon, Sarah Addison Allen
Strong Poison, Dorothy L. Sayers
The Story of Beautiful Girl, Rachel Simon
Joy For Beginners, Erica Bauermeister
The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
Five Red Herrings, Dorothy L. Sayers
Wined and Died, Cricket McRae
Tales from the Yoga Studio, Rain Mitchell
The Sweetness of the Bottom of the Pie, Alan Bradley

And now, for the accolades and admonishments!

Books So Bad, I Didn't Even Finish Them:
Tales From the Yoga Studio
One Thousand White Women
Angry Conversations With God

Books So Bad, I WISH I Hadn't Finished Them (Also Known As The Five Worst of 2011):
Lost In A Good Book AND The Eyre Affair
So Much Pretty
Here On Earth
Joy For Beginners

Most Enjoyable Audiobooks for 2011:
The Importance of Being Earnest
The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie
The Girl Who Chased The Moon

Top ~~Five~~ Six Reads of 2011:
The Story of Beautiful Girl
The Help
Garden Spells
Whose Body?
The Good Earth
The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane

I've already begun my endeavors for 2012. I'm about halfway finished with Have His Carcase, the next Lord Peter Wimsey novel from Dorothy L. Sayers. Today at the library, I picked up the second installment of Alan Bradley's Flavia de Luce series on audio (for when I return to work next week) as well as The Guernsey Literary And Potato Peel Society, which may end up being our next book club selection.

What did you read in 2011? Any recommendations to make for this bookworm?

Muttering Kids Photos

2011-12-27T22:05:00.001-05:00

Munchkin and Buddy each got a camera for Christmas this year. So, obviously, now they have a new blog!

Go check out their view of the world at A New Perspective!!

One for the memory book

2011-12-26T22:57:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of this holiday season, Buddy learned his first carol. He's a quick study, so he's already perfected it. But the earliest renditions sounded a little like this...

Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle what you say.
Oh nah-nah. No nah-nah.
Jingle what you say!

I want to remember the sound of his voice, full of glee, singing this. Forever. Indescribably adorable.

Christmas 2011

2011-12-25T21:19:00.000-05:00

Traditional Indian Take Out. New footie pajamas. Christmas Eve church. O Holy Night solo. Candlight. Bells. "Happy Birthday, Jesus!!". Gift wrapping. It's A Wonderful Life. Crying. Stuffing stockings. Up too late. Cookies for Santa. Lettuce for reindeer.

6:23 am. Giddy little boy. Wrapping paper everywhere. Thomas toys. Aurora. Books. Puzzles. Dress-up set. Nickelodeon Dance for the Wii. Kitchen knives. Hand-mixer. Stephen King. Cigar. New red coat. Polka-dot socks. Beads. K-cups. Santa reads my blog.

Fresh waffles. Bacon. More bacon. Coffee. Sticky laughing kids. Nana. Papa. GiGi. New camera. First handheld video games. Lots and lots of birdseed. More Thomas toys. So many batteries. No "C" batteries. Fail.

Grandma. Grandpa. Uncle Jay. More Thomas toys. Clothes. Kindle Touch. Gift cards!! Lalaloopsy. 50 Cans of Play-doh. Dollhouse bathroom. Near catastrophe. His and hers kiddie cameras. Things that sparkle. Things that smell pretty.

Blessed nap.

Filet mignon. Roasted potatoes. V. Sattui Cabernet Sauvignon. Homemade tiramisu. Coffee. Pasta. Peanut butter and jelly on a bagel.

Nickelodeon Dance for the Wii Dance Party.

A missing plane. One week without the paci. Up too late. Sleepy babies.

Love. Laughter. Exhaustion. Warmth. Giggles. Kindness. Generosity. Family.

Merry Christmas.

Dear Santa (2011),

2011-12-23T23:01:00.002-05:00

Yikes! I've been so busy preparing for the kids' Christmas joy, I nearly forgot to tell Santa what I would like this year. Good thing he's all magical and what-not.

Last year, I asked Santa for a new house, a minivan, a vacation to Italy, a new camera, perfume, a winter coat, a briefcase, a Blackberry, and miscellaneous gift cards.

I have to say, I did really well. Not, of course, at Christmas, per se. But in the year that has passed, I've gotten the minivan, the perfume, the briefcase, and the Blackberry. I did more than my fair share of clothes shopping this year, so I think we call that covered, too.

The remaining items still loom really large. The house...the vacation. Ah, how I wish Santa really could fit those in his sleigh. A sweet DSLR. That would make this girl smile and say cheeeeeeeese!!!!

And, of course, it's been a year, so I totally want to trade my Blackberry in for an iPhone. Ha!

But, Santa, if you're reading, here are a few other, last minute suggestions:

I'd like to dive in a sea of k-cups. It is the saving grace of my work day.

I'd like RELIEF. Like, a big ol' life sized Rolaids to cure all that ails me.

Those sassy patent-leather peep toe wedges I saw at the mall today.

Maybe a pair just like them but in red, too. Just for good measure.

Skirts to go with my growing tights collection.

A sweater dress that doesn't make me look like a stuffed sausage.

Long hair.

And highlights.

A Batphone type contraption hooked up to my local library in which I could just phone in a request and someone would deliver it to me.

And don't think I've forgotten about my coat. You're lucky, Santa, that is has been balmy here in New York the last few weeks. Mama needs a new coat.

A tattoo that says "Om Namah Shivaya" in Sanskrit with a lotus flower above it.

A sane 2012 Presidential Campaign.

A New England Patriots Super Bowl victory.

Dave Matthews Band tickets (we can revisit this in the summer, no worries)

I think that about covers it.

Thanks, Santa. You're the best.

Book Review: The Sweetness At The Bottom Of The Pie, by Alan Bradley

2011-12-21T20:45:00.000-05:00

Image source: Goodreads.com

This debut mystery featuring Flavia de Luce is an extremely strong 4 all by itself, but I am bumping it up to a five because the reading of this book for the audio was outstanding. Narrator Jayne Entwhistle faced the difficult challenge of reading the book as its 11 year old protagonist, as well as voicing a host of other characters, without sounding ridiculous. Her presentation was fantastic, and she captured Flavia's youth, vulnerabilities, and precociousness perfectly.

The book itself may be the best new "old mystery" I've come across. Written in the classic style which I so adore, it is easy to believe that this is a long-lost treasure...not something published within the last decade. Alan Bradley would make the detective novelists of yore very proud.

Funny thing is, when I was scouring the shelves of a Borders close-out sale, this book sat on the shelf. When I saw the protagonist was a child, I moved on. I would admonish myself for my foolish judgement, but it all worked out in the end...the audio format definitely enhanced my enjoyment of this book!

Brunch With Santa

2011-12-19T21:26:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we had our second annual family brunch with Santa Claus at one of our favorite restaurants. The kids had a blast, and it was a huge improvement from last year's Santa-Phobia which had afflicted Buddy. The best part is everyone (well, mostly) was there together...M and me, and our wee ones, my sister and bro-in-law and their younger daughter, all the grands, and my Nana. It's a lovely day and I am already looking forward to next year's!

Avoidant Conversations From Our House

2011-12-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

Today at school, Munchkin got into a little trouble. It seems that when it was time for her class to leave gym, she hid in the play tunnel and refused to come out. She and her teacher had a discussion about it, and I spoke to Munchkin about it when I got home from work.

Later in the evening, during dinner, M wanted to ask her about it, too.

M: Hey Munchkin, how was school today? Did anything happen?

Munchkin: Intently scooping rice onto her fork and refusing to look up. Ummm...I'm eating my dinner right now.

She was supposed to be the "good" one. The "easy" one. She's going to give us a run for our money, no doubt. Stinker.

How We Spent Our Weekend...

2011-12-12T21:53:00.000-05:00

It's full-on Christmas here at the Casa McD.

I am 95% finished with my shopping. The tree is up, the house is decorated. I've scheduled myself to take the week between Christmas and New Year's off from work. M and I are deciding on our holiday dinner plans.

It's crazy hectic. I'm totally stressed, but I love this picture. It makes me smile. Merry Christmas to all.

Big Man in a Little Boy Body

2011-12-09T23:02:00.002-05:00

Buddy had his three year well-visit yesterday. He's sort of like my own energizer bunny: he keeps growing and growing and growing.

Officially, he is 38 3/4 inches tall and 37lbs (with shoes). His pediatrician declared him both "well-proportioned" and "the picture of health". It's lovely to hear those things.

In November, at his actual birthday, he moved into the 3-5 room at daycare. He seems to be doing really well there. He is bringing home new types of projects, like connect the dots and color by numbers. I'm really impressed by that stuff, because it's not the type of activity we usually do here. So, you know, I don't always know that he knows how to connect the dots. Ha!

His language is...well...I guess the best thing I can say is it's Fully Functional. He knows every word he needs to know to tell me what it is he needs. And what he doesn't want. And how much I'm making his life terrible by not letting him have Skittles for dinner.

He is an enormous pain in the tookus at meal time, by the way. He likes chicken nuggets. That is all. Or at least that is how it feels from time to time.

There are many things about him that haven't changed at all over the past three years. He is still as in love with his Mama as ever. He is still a little demon. Ha! I completely adore him, but he has been known to wear.me.out.

I sometimes suspect he can read and just hasn't made it known yet. He can spell his name. And can count to 20 except for the 15 he routinely drops.

His new favorite expressions are "Oh my goodness, I'm so excited!!!" and "No". Ha!

He is 95% potty trained, and will now just take himself in and go when he needs to. It's so odd to have a child that has at least this one life-skill which can be done completely autonomously. The negative is that we now have to hit the restroom at every single store/restaurant/doctor's office/public area we visit. Joy.

My Buddy boy really is so amazing. A long time ago, I said that if my children were classical music Munchkin would be "Ode To Joy" (aka Beethoven's 9th symphony). Bud's would be "Flight of the Bumblebee". Always on the go. Full of energy, passion, and love.

"I am a miracle."

2011-12-07T22:59:00.000-05:00

Earlier this evening, Munchkin was hanging out with me, when she should have been asleep. It's a long story that involves a discarded pull-up and an angry set of parents. Oh, and poop. Obviously.

So, while M was steam cleaning the carpet at 9:30pm, I was trying to keep Ms Cakes quietly occupied in the living room. I had two evening commitments this week, too, so I was also just trying to snuggle with her.

We were being silly on couch, and I put my head on her chest. I could hear her heart. And I was awestruck. My girl, and her amazing heart.

She's four now. I decided it was time she knew about her amazing heart. I showed her her scar. I don't think she's ever really noticed it before. I told her that her heart was broken but that the Amazing Dr. Chen had fixed it. I taught her to say "I'm a miracle".

Because she is...

Book Review: Five Red Herrings, by Dorothy L. Sayers

2011-12-07T22:36:00.000-05:00

Oh, dear Dorothy, I'm sorry for the two stars...but this one just didn't do it for me. I had a really difficult time keeping the six "suspects" straight. And, I love a good Scottish brogue, but reading it in dialect was just distracting as I was attempting to keep these six similar painters in order.

Oh, and the limited use of Bunter is just deplorable.

Book Review: The Importance of Being Earnest, by Oscar Wilde

2011-12-05T19:53:00.000-05:00

Image source: Goodreads.com

Brilliant.

I feel like I can't say anything more about it. Brilliant. Witty, and clever.

I was so surprised to find that nearly all the famous Oscar Wilde quotations I have ever heard are from this play. The social commentary was wonderfully portrayed and the dialogue was flawless.

And in this tour de perfection, Lady Bracknell stood out as an absolute wretched gem. Oh, to be able to just talk to people like that. So liberating! She is fantastic, even if she is an insufferable snob!

Brilliant.

*****************

I "read" this via audio, and highly recommend the BBC recording as shown in the photo above. Hilarious!

Dinner Dance

2011-12-03T21:17:00.000-05:00

"I know that we'll have a ball if we get down and go out and just lose it all. I feel stressed and I wanna let it go, let's go way out of space and losin' all control." ~The Black Eyed Peas

Last night was one of my favorite nights of the whole year...the Annual Dinner Dance for my local DSA. It's not often that M and I get to dress up, put on our dancing shoes (ok, I put on my dancing shoes), and have a lovely night out amongst grown-ups. Usually, we have to wait around for a wedding to do that, but thankfully the DSA comes through each year with this always beautiful event.

This year, my friend Jill and her hubby came with. Jill and I tore.it.up. I told her she can be my date next year, too!!

As usual, there were fantastic raffles. I am now the proud, if conflicted, owner of a 3 month trial at a local gym and a gift card to a local restaurant. ha! I assisted with handing out the raffles, so M was in charge of watching for our numbers to be called. He was good at his job. I call this next photo "Winning!!!!" Like Charlie.

And then just for shits and giggles, we decided to re-enact scenes from Dirty Dancing.

And of course, Courtney Heigele is going to be infuriated with me because I failed to get a shot of my shoes. But, hopefully this will help ease the pain...a few random shots from the rest of the evening.

Aaaah, it was a good night. My feet were so sore by the end of the night and my out-of-shape thigh muscles and hip flexors were feeling it today. I am the champion of something called the Cuban Shuffle, by the way! Ha! As I said, it was a good night.

Just like the Black Eyed Peas said it would.

*All photos are copyrighted and courtesy of Andy Cox Photography

Book Review: Joy for Beginners, by Erica Bauermeister

2011-11-26T12:38:00.000-05:00

I can't really say that I know what this book was about. I mean, I know what the synopsis says, but there was zero plot or character development, and it had a disappointingly disjointed feel.

The book opens up at a "Victory Dinner" for Kate, who I suppose would be the protagonist if this was a cohesive story (which it's not), who has recently won her battle with breast cancer. Assembled at this dinner are Kate's closest friends. I would tell you how many, but I can't even remember their names...that's how unimpressive each of their individual tales were. At the dinner, Kate challenges each of them to face something difficult or scary in their lives. She assigns each a specific challenge and the rest of the book is devoted to each woman's story.

I listened to this on CD so I can't say whether each woman was given a chapter or a section, but except for a few instances there were no cross-over stories. Some of the women appeared in each other's stories, but for the most part they were exclusive, stand alone tales. Like the Canterbury Tales. But far less awesome.

In review: We have no linear plot. No significant character development. No cohesion. To make matters worse, there is also very little climax in any of the stories. The first challenge, I think it was Caroline's challenge to get rid of her ex-husband's books, was over before I realized she was ready to accomplish it.

It was impossible to care about any of these women, because we never got to *know* any of them. There was no platform for emotional investment, and the book felt like a flat series of even flatter short stories.

Furthermore, I listened to this on CD and did not care for the narrator at all. Her presentation straddled the line between wanna-be-vixen and upper-class pretension. It was poorly produced, as well, as there are several times in the story where the narrator's voice drastically changes, as if sections needed to be re-recorded at a later time and she either could not remember the voice she had used the first time around, or she had a nasty sinus infection.

Overall, it was a big disappointment. 1 out of 5 stars.

Retribution and Lies

2011-11-24T20:58:00.001-05:00

This could be subtitled: Sibling Rivalry Conversations from Our House.

The setting: Our living room, after coming home from Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Munchkin is sitting at the kids' little table in the living room and Buddy is playing with trains. He promptly dumps her out of her chair and on to the ground because he wanted the chair. She gets up, and grabs his Lovey.

Munchkin: I got your Lovey! I got your Lovey! I got your Lov-ey!

She disappears down the hallway. And returns, empty-handed.

Buddy: Mommy, where is my Lovey?

Mama: I don't know, Bud. Ask your sister. Munchkin, where is Buddy's Lovey?

Munchkin: Um...I don't know. Shrugs her shoulders, innocently.

Mama: Munchkin, you took Buddy's Lovey. Where did you put it?

Munchkin: Looking defeated. On his bed...

****************************

Surely there should have been some parental disciplining in there somewhere, but M and I were too busy laughing hysterically! There you go, Sister! Buddy can be a little brute, and I delighted in her diabolical plan to make him pay for his indiscretion.

And then to lie about it?!!? Ha! She is a little shit. I love it!

Yes, I am condoning naughty behavior. Why?

Two reasons.

1. There is a nasty little stereotype that "Downs kids" are so sweet and loving all the time. Yeah, I think she showed her dark side there. You wrong me? I'm going for the jugular.

2. It's the sort of bratty thing any self-respecting 4 year old sister would do to her little brother!!

She.is.awesome.

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-23T20:34:00.000-05:00

Aaaah, it's that time again. Earlier this year, I had attempted to do a weekly Thankful Thursday post instead of trying to remember every single thing I was thankful for since November 2010. Alliterative, scheduled posting is not as easy as I thought it was.

So, I'll do my best, but please know that my brain has become seriously fried since this time last year!!

My sweet children. For all that they have learned over this past year. All the ways they've grown and brightened my world. All the ways in which they have stretched, shaped, and challenged me. All the tiny, quiet moments of snuggles and all of the loud, carefree moments of laughter. Jigsaw puzzles and play-doh, baby dolls and dinosaurs, Cabbage Patch Kids and Thomas the Engine. The Fresh Beat Band, Jack's Big Music Show, Sid the Science Kid, and Sesame Street. The Laurie Berkner Band and Signing Time!. Bedtime stories.

My husband. For taking over cooking dinner, yet continuing to do the dishes every night so that I don't have to. For remembering to go in and turn on the electric blanket an hour before bedtime so that the bed is nice and warm when I come in. For hours and hours of cut-throat Jeopardy viewing. For coming home with bottles of wine. For supporting me as I take the first tentative steps toward a dream I've harbored for decades. For keeping me in check as I start to spin out. For insisting that I spend time with my girlfriends. For brewing the perfect pot of coffee every.single.morning.

Wendy's. For that new Dave's Hot and Juicy cheeseburger. So bad, so very delicious.

Our family. For loving my kids, and my husband, and me. For a billion hours of babysitting. For sharing expertise about fixing houses, and cars, and raising kids. For aunts and uncles and cousins. For so much support, love, and joy that it can't even be quantified here.

My church. For Katie, especially. She makes me smile. For hosting a Holiday Bazaar that reminded me that I love to bead. For welcoming my children, even when they are less than reverent.

My girls. Ladies, there are no words. The ones I've never even met. The ones I never get to see. The ones who love coffee and tasties as much as I do. The ones who remind me how grand it is to be a woman, and the ones who commiserate with me about how trying it can be to be married to a man! (Ha!!) The ones who are exploring their dreams and let me be a part of the journey. The ones who are as unsure about their place in the world as I am. The ones who inspire me with their ability to use their gifts and talents with abandon. The ones who see in me the things I don't always see in myself. The ones who hold me up when I stumble. The ones who laugh and cry with me as necessary and appropriate. The new friends. The oldest friends. All the friends in between.

Mr. Coffee. For creating a faux-Keurig that is half the price yet k-cup compatible. You make my office complete.

Green Mountain Coffee. For "Dark Magic" k-cups.

My job. For continued employment in the era of unemployment. For the people I've met who are helping to shape my path. For the invaluable lessons I've learned over this past year, about myself, about the type of professional I want to be, and about where I see myself headed.

M's job. For occupational stability. For the self-satisfaction he has found there. I still have a lot of gripes about my husband's employment...but he's happy and he feels good about what he is doing. I am thankful for that on his behalf.

My local public library. For always having, or being able to get me, any book I want to read. For a healthy e-book and audio book inventory. For the GRE prep book. For your kids' collection. For smelling wonderful and being beautiful.

GRC. For everything.

Direct TV. For taking us back after we ditched Dish Network. Ugh.

Good Health. For myself. And the ones I love.

Happy Thanksgiving from my house to yours...

What does she really need?

2011-11-18T23:37:00.000-05:00

I'm having a rough evening...hence a blog post half an hour past my bedtime.

I am writing now, because I've only been home for 45 minutes. I had a board meeting tonight for our local DSA. I've been on the board of directors for almost two years. We meet once a month, and the meetings are generally about three hours long. Starting around 7-7:30pm. Never less than half an hour from my house.

I enjoy the work we do, and I feel it's really important for Munchkin's future that I use my voice and my abilities in this manner. To me, this is advocacy at its purest.

Several weeks ago, I was approached by a large service agency in our region about being on their board of directors as well. I had dinner last night with several board members to discuss the details of this commitment. It is also a monthly meeting, as long as service on two committees, which also meet once per month.

This particular agency has a full menu of lifespan services, some of which Munchkin will likely access at various points throughout her life. It is also a strong agency that exists solely to support individuals with disabilities. Again, I feel I owe it to my daughter to give of my time and energy to this agency, as it may one day greatly enhance her life, as well as many just like her.

Here's the issue.

Last night, I was out until after she went to bed. I saw her for a couple of hours this morning before she went to school. This evening, while I was still at work, my mom called and left a message. Could I call home? Munchkin needed to talk to me.

So, I called her. As soon as I said hello to her, she cried, "I feel better now!"

My mom got back on the phone and explained that suddenly Munchkin began to cry. She wanted to talk to Mommy. Apparently, our brief telephone exchange put a smile on her face, and we said our goodbyes.

Later in the evening, M texted me during the course of my board meeting. "Munchkin misses you. She wanted you to put her pajamas on her after bath."

Talk about a kick in the gut.

In my mind, it's simple and logical. I am participating in the leadership of these organizations because it is to the benefit of my daughter and her community.

But what if what she really needs is me?

Is it better for her if I put off this type of participation for when she is older? Is is more to her benefit to have a mommy home to put her to bed at night, rather than one that is likely to be out at minimum of one evening a week, on top of a full-time job?

As I drove home from the board meeting tonight, I couldn't help wonder about this. I want to do what's best for her, both in the long, and the short term.

Book Review: The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon

2011-11-16T20:44:00.002-05:00

If I'm being totally honest, this book is probably a strong 4.75, but because it handles individuals with disabilities with such love, I'm going to go ahead and bump it up to a full 5 stars.

As the parent of a child with a disability, I was a little afraid to read this book. Not in a "scary" kind of way, but in an 'open up a gaping wound that I may never be able to close' kind of way. There were definitely moments within the stories where my sobs were audible, but for the most part the story demonstrated the stark reality of the institutions of the 1960s and 70s while remaining well balanced with hope, courage, and love.

During graduate school, I had read about the institutions for the developmentally disabled, and about Geraldo Rivera's expose which turned the tide. It was, however, the first time I've read such a personal account since my daughter was born. I won't lie: It was really difficult. Not only did it remind me of how horrific her life would have been a generation ago, but it is also a reminder of the plight faced by many children just like my daughter in countries around the world where these conditions continue to exist. As I read Lynnie's stories, I couldn't help but feel a small tremor of unease...there but for the grace of God go we.

Homan's story was amazing to read. There were moments when I found myself thunderstruck by the enormity of his disorientation and isolation. He truly had no means of effectively communication, of orienting himself the world around him. I can't imagine how much the world must feel like an abyss in that situation.

::SPOILER::
::SPOILER::

I am a little unsure about the ending. I guess "happy endings" always feel contrived to me. I really had to suspend my disbelief in order to finish the last couple of chapters. That being said, I realized I had a choice in whether or not to do so. I could have just read on, been annoyed, and said "bah, what trite poppycock". But I didn't. I chose to believe that these three people got their perfect ending, because after all that was denied them, after all their suffering, it felt good to just believe that it happened this way. Because they deserved it.

Book Review: Strong Poison, by Dorothy L. Sayers

2011-11-12T22:16:00.002-05:00

While this was a good, solid Sayers outing, it wasn't one of my favorites to date. It turns out a lovesick Peter is a forlorn Peter, and this book was missing his joie d'vie. There was also a shockingly small amount of Bunter...I don't even think he made his entrance until several chapters in. That's just preposterous! {haha!} It was (almost) remedied by a heavy dose of Miss Climpson, who is quite amusing.

We did get to meet Harriet Vane in this book, and see first hand all that had been hinted toward in The Attenbury Emeralds, which I had read last month.

The bonus of the entire book, however, was the fact that I solved the mystery before the reveal! Hooray!

3 out of 5 stars

Re-Beading

2011-11-12T16:41:00.000-05:00

Some of you may remember, back ages and ages ago, when I used to make beaded jewelry for fun. Gosh, that feels like a long time ago. Since going back to work full-time last year, I've really gotten away from it. I've done a few things here and there, but nothing serious.

Today, though, I participated in my church's first ever Holiday Bazaar. I wanted to support this new initiative so I dusted off the old pieces, created a couple new ones, and set up my table this afternoon.

It was good to be back. I had forgotten how many pieces I had made, and it was fun creating some new items yesterday. I made a little bit of money this afternoon, too, which will be immediately parlayed into something pretty for Mama!!

I am hopeful that this little venture back into beading will re-ignite my enjoyment of it. Sometimes it feels really hard to fit it in, but I do love it, so I am going to make a better effort!!

Untitled/Penn State

2011-11-10T21:39:00.001-05:00

Back when I was a little girl, I wanted to go to college. I started talking about it when I was really young...elementary school aged. I can't remember exactly when it happened, but I remember for Christmas the year I was in fourth grade, I got a fleece throw. It was navy blue. It had a Nittany Lion on it. Because as a little girl, the first college I identified as "the one" was Penn State. I was about 10 years old.

I wasn't going to write about the situation in State College, PA today. Yesterday, my brain was whirling in too many directions, and because I am a PMS-y mess, I couldn't stop crying. And my hands were trembling with rage. Not at Joe Paterno. Not even, oddly enough, at Sandusky. But at an Assistant Coach in the Penn State football program named Mike McQueary, who in 2002 was the graduate assistant who made eye contact with a child as that child was being raped by a 60 year old man. McQueary tells the Grand Jury that the boy seemed to be about 10 years old.

I wonder if that little boy also dreamed of going to Penn State one day, too.

I haven't forgotten or dismissed that ultimately the perpetrator of this horrific scenario is Sandusky. I get that. And I don't feel that Joe Paterno is the root of all subsequent evil. I think that college sports have become misguided corporate machines in which normal values and ethics are compromised every single day in deference to "the program". I think the Penn State board of trustees did the right thing, in fact the only thing they could do, in firing Paterno. Clearly to say that the system is flawed and corrupted is the understatement of the century. And when a system is corrupted so terribly it has to be overhauled. Paterno was absolutely correct in his statement when he feebly said "I should have done more". Yes, old man, you should have. If your university did not notify the appropriate authorities to protect the children of your community, you should have taken it into your own hands. I am sure in that moment you were afraid of tarnishing the reputation of your esteemed university. I wonder now if you have realized that an event in 2002, in which a renegade pedophile with ties to Penn State was arrested and jailed for child molestation, would be ancient history in 2011? Instead, no one will ever forget this.

But I digress.

I've got a special kind of wrath in my heart for Mike McQueary. I've been trying to process his actions for the past two days, and I can't. Yesterday morning, I was watching Mike & Mike on ESPN2 as I got ready for work and as the details were spewing forth, I was having a visceral reaction. All the sports guys are talking about Paterno and what would happen to the Penn State football program. All I could think about was Mike McQueary. A big, young, football dude. Who made eye contact with a child being brutalized. Who could have punched the monster in the face and carried that child to safety. But who turned and walked away. He called his father, who told him to get out of there.

Wrap your head around that, if you can.

It makes me want to vomit. To weep. To protect my kids.

Part of why I stalled in writing this post was because there was something gnawing at the back of my thoughts. Why this wrath for McQueary and not Sandusky? Obviously none of this would be an issue if that sick individual wasn't preying on young boys. Why, then, is it the McQueary aspect of the story the one that rips at my gut?

Because, he represented humanity.

Sandusky is a monster, and his behavior was befitting such. Paterno is a revered icon with an invincibility complex, and his behavior was befitting such.

McQueary is just a guy. Just a regular person, minding his own business, who happened upon a terrible situation through no fault of his own. It's all very awww, shucks.

He had a chance to help the helpless. He had a chance to do the right thing. He had a chance to make the difference in the life a child. He did none of those things.

He walked away.

That young boy, estimated to be around 10 years old, saw him. He saw Mike McQueary. He looked him in the eye. I try to picture that boy's eyes. Were they terrified? Pleading? Did they just scream "help me"? The hope he must have felt in his heart when he realized there was a big, strong, athletic savior in sight.

What did he feel in his heart as he watched Mike McQueary walk away?

As a counselor, I know that childhood sexual abuse is devastating to the emotional development of a child. I cannot even fathom what the image of Mike McQueary's back did to this child's faith in humanity. How do you believe there is good in the world when you are being brutalized by someone you may have trusted, AND THEN were abandoned there by someone who could have saved you?

My heart is shattered for this boy. My faith in humanity is faltering. I wish I could tell him I was sorry. I wish I could hug him and take his pain way.

Happy Birthay, Buddy!

2011-11-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

I can't believe how fast you've grown. It seems like just yesterday you were this brand new boy, joining our little family of three.

Home coming!

First family photo

Emerging from "newborn"

In the blink of an eye you were mobile. In fact you started walking on your Nana's birthday. You were 10 months and three days old.

And all of a sudden you were a year old!

When you were a year and a half we took your gorgeous self to school for the first time. You've done great there, and we're so proud of how smart you are.

You've changed so much in the past year...except, of course, your love of Thomas. That may never change.

Since your last birthday, you've learned so many new things and had so many adventures. We took two vacations, visited a couple of farms, took you to a the state fair and an amusement park, went apple picking, survived an earthquake, a hurricane, and an October snowstorm together. You learned the concept of Christmas and birthday parties...you know what presents are, and you enjoy them. You haven't stopped talking since sometime around June. You mispronounce "computer" and "escalator" in ways that make me giggle every single time.

You are as passionate as ever. You don't like to be told no and change isn't your favorite concept, but your teachers adore you and you charm sweet old ladies in every store you visit. You are funny, sweet, affectionate, and you have a freakish memory.

I just adore you, Buddy.

Happy, happy, happy birthday, baby.

Book Review: The Girl Who Chased the Moon, by Sarah Addison Allen

2011-11-08T22:24:00.000-05:00

Last year I read Garden Spells and was instantly captivated by Allen' style of writing, ethereal and mystical elements, and word porn. I then went on to read The Sugar Queen and The Peach Keeper, which were wonderfully enjoyable, but seemed to be less about the mystical elements and more about the character development.

The Girl Who Chased the Moon perfectly encapsulated the very best of all the previous novels. I listened to this on CD and the narrator was fantastic. Allen's word choice is spectacular...decadent in fact. The characters in this book were beautifully created. Like the other books, these plots aren't the deepest, most philosophical, or epic story lines ever committed to the page, but they are beautiful and eminently enjoyable.

***SPOILER***

This book came on six CDs. When I put disc five in, I thought to myself: I don't want this book to end. When I put disc six in, I thought to myself: I really don't want this book to end. Imagine my delight when as we end this story, only to pick up Maddie's. I am already anticipating the next offering by Allen, whenever that may be. She may officially be my favorite contemporary author.

Friends, Fun, and Julius the Monkey

2011-11-08T21:42:00.000-05:00

The unfathomable is upon us. My boy is about to be three years old {Thursday to be exact!}.

This past Saturday we had a gathering of Buddy's goodest and bestest to celebrate my darling son. He had a blast...he fully comprehends the concept of presents, and for days leading up to his part assured me he would be getting a lot of Thomas the Train presents. He wasn't mistaken or disappointed. There were also lots of dinosaurs, books, some clothes, and his first ever remote controlled car.

For me, there was an oddly melancholy moment. As birthday party protocol would dictate, we all gathered around the cake, sang, and....

...the boy blew out his own candles. First time either one of my kids has done this. Munchkin has the cutest attempt at blowing, but she falls a bit short. It's more of a raspberry, which one would think would still get the candle out, but to no avail. I don't know why...but I got all silly about it. My sweet boy.

It's ok that Munchkin isn't an ace at blowing out candles by the way. She's the champion at eating (and enjoying) her cake.

It was a great day. Time is flying. On Thursday, I'll do a whole post that will make a meek attempt at capturing all the love and amazement that is my sweet, sweet Buddy.

31 for 21: Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T21:04:00.002-04:00

I can't say I've ever gone trick or treating with snow on the ground...thanks to this weekend's October Blizzard, we did just that this evening!!

The entire day was wacky. Munchkin's school party was not at the scheduled time because they had a two hour delay this morning. While we were very fortunate and did not experience any negative consequences due to the storm, many around us are still without power and there are trees and utility lines down everywhere.

Once I got to the school and got Munchkin in her costume, I couldn't get Buddy in his. He seemed to be terrified of it. He also was in a miserable mood, their schedules had been disrupted because of the on-again/off-again nature of the school parade, and I don't think he feels well. So, needless to say, he didn't parade with his class, I missed Munchkin's party, and Buddy and I came home early to rest.

I did get one quick photo of Miss Cakes before I left...

Ack! Have you ever seen a cuter Dorothy?

Buddy was supposed to be the Cowardly Lion. We have good buddies who were joining us for Trick or Treating tonight, and they were the Tin Man and the Scarecrow! What a crew!

It took some Ibuprofen, a nap, dinner, and peer pressure...but the Cowardly Lion made his appearance!

His costume had a hood that made the mane and ears, but Buddy was.not having any of it. Thank the heavens for some well placed (eyebrow pencil) whiskers!

Our entire re-enactment of the Wizard of Oz, just moments before we let them loose on the neighborhood. They had a great time Trick or Treating and we now have an absurd amount of candy in our house!!

And on that note...I conclude yet another edition of 31 for 21. I hope you had fun reading a long. I must publicly thank my friend Ruth in the UK for coming up with the alphabet format. It was a great idea that made coming up with topics a breeze!!!

As I usually do, I may take a little break to start November...but not for long. Buddy turns 3 years old!!! in a few short days. How time flies!!!

31 for 21: Happy Blogiversary To Me!

2011-10-30T15:39:00.000-04:00

Well, well, faithful readers. It doesn't seem like it has been three years since my first introductory post, does it?

In preparation for this post, I read back on some of my posts of the past. Some of them make me cry to read, and some make me roll my eyes. Good lawd, I've been all over the place these past three years.

Through it all this has been a great outlet for me. It's just icing on my proverbial cake that you all have chosen to come along for the ride.

Thanks for reading! xoxo

31 for 21: Z is for...

2011-10-29T23:23:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

Z is for...

Zerberts
Zeitgeist

I bet you did not think I could come up with a Z word, did you? Ha! I've got mad skillz.

Anyway, I zeitgeist was one of my favorite grad school words. Right behind schizophrenogenic mother and psychopharmacology. Unlike those other rad fifty-cent SAT (or GRE as the case may be) words, zeitgeist really does have a little bit to do with Ds.

It refers to "the spirit of the times".

I find myself (and us, as the collective) in a weird time, in that it seems like there are two conflicting zeitgeists upon us. I'm not even sure if that's possible, but it must be...because it's happening.

One one hand there is so much awareness of the issues facing individuals with Ds. The ADA is only 20 years old, giving all individuals with disabilities legal protections which did not exist a generation ago. Children with Ds are attending school with their peers in numbers that were unheard of when my parents were kids. Beyond that, there are educational, occupational, and lifestyle opportunities available to people with Ds that were never available before. Campaigns for awareness and advocacy like "More Alike Than Different" and "Spread the Word to End the Word".

Yet, on the other hand, there are scientific breakthroughs which are detecting (and effectively allowing for the prevention of) Ds earlier than ever before in pregnancy. And there are governmental initiatives aimed at eliminating Down syndrome from society...completely.

It's both exciting and terrifying. Like our own little chromosomal good versus evil showdown. What I think people tend not to understand is that if prenatal elimination of Down syndrome continues to occur, then the items in column A will cease. If there are fewer and fewer people with Ds born every year, then why put the money into research? Support programs? Educational initiatives?

I'm sure it's easy to write me off as "alarmist" but this is a slippery slope in my opinion. Statistics already suggest a close to 90% termination rate for prenatal Ds diagnoses. And that was when the only accurate diagnostic tool was the unsavory and risky amnio, often performed with just a few days or weeks before the 26 week "deadline" for legal abortions. Now, it'll be routine to find out before the first trimester is over. How much easier is it now to just toss away that imperfect fetal matter?

I worry for the Munchkins of the next generation. I hope they have the chance to be born, and to grow, and love. And I worry for the Mamas of the next generation. I hope they have the chance to see what amazing things happen when you open your heart to the perfectly imperfect.

And in the meantime, I will focus my energy and attention on that Good Zeitgeist...the one that is forging ahead of my daughter and leaving new and wonderful doors open for her. Maybe the mighty wind of awareness can triumph over death and fear after all.

31 for 21: Y is for...

2011-10-28T22:41:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

Y is for...

Yummy

What the what?!?! Muttering Mama has lost her muttering mind.

Actually, "yummy" represents the delicious appetizers I just split with a friend in our favorite little patisserie in town. And the decadent cream puffs. And the warm and soothing vanilla latte.

I have this friend for no other reason than because I have Munchkin. Through a shared Occupational Therapist back in the EI days, I met this woman with whom I had the good fortune to connect. I have other such relationships, too. Some in real life and others out there in Cyber-Holland.

Whether near or far, I am forever grateful for the relationships which have been born of this shared journey, that of raising a child with a disability. A sisterhood of mothers...taking it one day at a time...just loving on their babies...and rejoicing in each other's understanding and companionship. The Girls Who "Get It".

"Friendship is born at the moment one person says to another: What? You, too? I thought I was the only one." ~C.S. Lewis

31 for 21: X is for...

2011-10-27T23:12:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

X is for..

X-ray (of course!)

In particular, the x-ray for AAI. {AAI stands for Atlantoaxial Instability, and is a condition of the cervical spine associated with Ds.}

We obtained a referral from our pediatrician when Munchkin turned 3 to have her cervical spine x-rayed to rule out AAI. She never indicated any symptoms, but we took the recommendations we had seen and requested the screen as standard procedure.

Thankfully, the x-ray was negative and Miss Cakes was allowed on the trampoline.

I find myself now wondering what the next should (or shouldn't) be. I've seen two completely contradictory recommendations. When we first learned about AAI the standard recommendation was the screen at 3 years old. Shortly after having it done I started hearing about a second standard screen done at age 5. Recently, I've read that the newest recommendations are not to screen at all unless a child is symptomatic.

I get confused. And freaked out, because the idea of my child's cervical spine being even a little bit wonky makes me nuts.

Other Moms Out There: What did you do with your child? If you had the 3 year screen done are you doing it again at 5 or 6? Did you choose to not screen at all? I'd love to hear what some other moms think on this subject.

31 for 21: W is for...

2011-10-26T22:25:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

W is for...

"Why me?"
"What did I ever do to deserve this?"
"What did I ever do to deserve this?"
"Welcome to Holland"

Photo source: art.com

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy.

You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands.

The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland!”

“Holland?” you say. “What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It’s just a different place.

So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks.

And you must learn a whole new language.

And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. You begin to notice that Holland has windmills.

Holland has tulips.

And Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.

And for the rest of your life you will say, “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

~Emily Perl Kinglsey (1987)

31 for 21: V is for...

2011-10-25T22:50:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

V is for...

Voice

What do I mean by that? By "voice"?

It's the reason that I am here. It's the reason I blog. It's the reason I educate myself about the medical conditions associated with Ds and the special education system. It's why I walk in the Buddy Walk.

My voice. It's a loud voice. It's a persistent voice.

It's her voice. My daughter's voice.

The voice of advocacy. Munchkin is the biggest and best gift of my life. My voice is all I have with which to repay her.

31 for 21: U is for...

2011-10-24T22:08:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

U is for...

Uncertainty
Ugly

Not physical ugliness. Let me be 100% clear about that. My girl is so pretty.

Recently, I was having a Facebook conversation with two other moms, both of whom who have kids around Munchkin's age with Ds. And there was a reference to "ugly".

As in, gut-wrenching grief,
As in, the frustration of waiting for the next milestone...especially those which never seem to arrive,
As in, judgement and ignorance in the world,
As in, the self-doubt and the "why me?"s,
As in, the guilt of acknowledging all of the above.

The three of us referenced the "ugly", we all acknowledged that it's not all sunshine, windmills, and tulips. We agreed that the ugly needed to be shared and celebrated as much as the beauty. And then we laughed in a moment of connection that few others would understand.

Motherhood is hard. All of it, for all mothers, not just the designer genes club. So, it goes without saying that raising a kid with Ds isn't always perfection. As with that general concept of motherhood, though, the payoff is unbelievable.

Photo credit: Andy Cox Photography

What, pray tell, is ugly about that?

31 for 21: A pause in the action...

2011-10-23T20:58:00.000-04:00

I'm not posting about anything related to the alphabet or Down syndrome tonight.

Instead, I'll be here...

...reliving my youth.

31 for 21: T is for...

2011-10-22T22:19:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

T is for...

Therapy
Testimonials
Teeth
Trisomy 21

As October approached, I asked people to share with me what knowing Munchkin had meant to them. Here is what they said...

"I love seeing her pictures and your face when you talk about her! I love the amazing advocacy you do for her and others! I loved when you introduced me to the young lady that worked at Price Chopper {a local self-advocate} and how much you knew about her and how happy she was to be acknowledged by you. She got me a great deal on shaving cream one day; she was so excited to be working with people and being helpful. You are the wonderful person you are because god / goddess/ buddha gave Munchkin to you and you to Munchkin to share the love that is most amazing!! I love that you taught me how offensive a certain word was... How it made me realize how easy it is to not pay attention to how it hurts people. I am now hyper aware and I hear it just like the "n" word with equal disdain!" ~from my friend Lisa

"I remember first coming to your house and seeing such an adorable, cute baby with a mother that was simply in love with her baby... what a beautiful thing. I also remember the first time Munchkin said my name....sounded soooo cute!" ~Munchkin's EI Social Worker/MSC, who joined our team when Munchkin was a month old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These messages were so touching! I'm in a good place on this "journey" with Ds, and I have been for a long time. I've seen how much Munchkin has changed me, and now I love to learn about the way she's changing others. How having her in their lives has altered it in big and small ways.

I would certainly love anyone else who had a thought to share to, please, share away!!

The Friday Night Knitting Club, by Kate Jacobs

2011-10-21T22:28:00.000-04:00

If I could give this 2.5 stars, I probably would. It was slightly more than "ok", but I am not sure I can give it a full-fledged "Good".

I chose this book as my first foray into audio-books-while-commuting genre. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stay focused on the text while driving so I really wanted something that would be light, easy to follow, not require thinking on my part, and I wouldn't be devastated if I didn't finish it.

As it turns out, I enjoyed listening to *a* book while driving. It really made my trip feel shorter and I didn't have any difficulty staying focused on either the book or my driving!

The plot was...I don't know...fine, I guess is the best word. It was your fairly typical story about a motley group of women who come together for mutual acceptance, forgiveness, and companionship.

2 out of 5 stars

Book Review: The Attenbury Emeralds, by Jill Patton Walsh

2011-10-21T22:25:00.000-04:00

In short: I loved it.

There are so many points I want to make about this book...I hope I remember to get them all in.

1. As I mentioned in a recent review of Maisie Dobbs, I was struck with the ramifications of WWI on English society. The story within a story hearkens back to Wimsey's first sleuthing gig...the recovery of the Attenbury emeralds. This case is heavily referenced in Sayers' first novel Whose Body? but not explicitly covered. Also mentioned in that early Sayers work is Peter's emotional/psychological recovery after the war. I'm not sure if Walsh goes more in detail about Peter's fragile state, or if it is because of being so fresh from Dobbs, but I often found myself thinking of what that experience must have been like for all of Europe long after putting the book down for the day. And to this, I remind readers everywhere, a book not need be an epic work to enlighten our view of the world.

2. I've largely read the Wimsey books in order, and so with the exception of The Nine Tailors I've dealt primarily with a young, exuberant Lord Peter. He's fun and rather entertaining. I applaud the way Walsh "matured" him in this book. Sixty year old Peter is much more mellow and reflective, but Walsh left that scamp-ish quality deep inside. I enjoyed this older Wimsey.

3. Wimsey and Harriet have a lovely relationship. Wimsey and the Dowager Duchess have a lovely relationship. Wimsey and Bunter have such an amazingly beautiful relationship...and it's not often that one can say that about men. The reciprocity of affection, care, responsibility, protection, and service is a fine example of the human connection. As there was a significant emphasis on Peter's post-war psychological state, there is then a significant emphasis on what Bunter meant to Peter's survival in those early days. In post-WWII England, where the present narrative is set, the lines of their formal working relationship are more blurred than ever before.

4. My favorite part of Sayers is her sense of humor. I went into this book with high expectations for that. I am happy to say that I was not disappointed. Sayers has an edge over Walsh in that sense, but I felt the dry humor of Bunter was wonderfully reminiscent of his creator.

Of course, in retrospect I've realized that The Attenbury Emeralds was not the first Walsh~Wimsey book, so now I have to go back. Trust me, it won't be a chore!

4 of 5 stars

31 for 21: S is for...

2011-10-21T21:41:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

S is for...

Speech
Stumbo
School
Special Education
Supramalleolar orthoses

As a reward for doing such a fine job of mostly posting every day in October, I'm going to take the day off. As a reward for being such a wonderful and patient reader, I am going to point you in the direction of the one of the best 31 for 21 offerings I've ever come across.

Over at Stumbo Family Story, my friend Ellen is doing an amazing job of sharing the story of Nichole. It has been so lovely, honest, heartfelt, and open. Start at the beginning (Road Marker 321). It'll be worth it.

31 for 21: R is for...

2011-10-20T20:43:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

R is for...

R*tarded
Reece's Rainbow
Responses

As important as it is for me to discuss the first two choices listed above, it wouldn't have made any sense for me to demand your queries without actually answering them. So, tonight, my responses:

Knowing your love of reading, have you ever come across a novel [not a novelised biography from real life] where one of the main characters has Down Syndrome [as opposed to some unspecified learning difficulty or developmental delay]? If so, what did you think of it? If not, and you were to write one yourself to fill the gap in the market(!) what would your lead character with Down Syndrome be doing, and how would they influence the lives of other characters? [That sounds like I'm asking you to write a college essay doesn't it?! Sorry!]
Ruth R. [UK]

I wouldn't expect anything less from my friend across the pond, Ruth! To date, I have not read a novel in which the main character has Ds. There are two where Ds figures in, most notably The Memory Keeper's Daughter, by Kim Edwards. I didn't read it, but I watched the Lifetime movie, if that counts for anything. Also, Ds provides the context for a crucial turning point in The Time Traveler's Wife. I do like the idea, though, and I'll have to see if this is my life's calling! It just might take me a while, because my muse has to grow into her role.

What are your dreams for L in the future? Do you think she will, for instance, live apart from you? Get married? I guess we can't know these things about our typical children, much less our kids w DS; I just wondered. Do you worry about how B will do in the future when he and L are both adults? Like if and when someone else has to take care of her, whether that means for housing or just to be responsible for her. Did that ever make you consider having yet another child? I know part of what drove our desire to have three kids (though definitely not THE reason) was so that B would have *two* siblings, not just one. Ummmmm...what else? What's your favorite quote from "Clue"? ;) ~Angela

I've recently been thinking a lot about my dreams for Munchkin's future. I saw a picture of a cheerleader with Ds on the top of a pyramid and I decided that, YES!, that is a dream of mine for her! And I saw a series of photos of people with Ds getting married, and I admitted that that, too, is a dream of mine. I guess the overarching dream for her is to be happy, fulfilled, loved, and loving. I dream of her finding her definition of success and then meeting it.

I guess I do fully expect that she will live apart from me, though I secretly sometimes only consider two options: home with us or completely on her own. I've got my qualms about group homes that I hope to work through in the next 20 years or so. And I often wonder what the dynamic between B and L will be like when they are adults. Right now they are best friends, and I sort of hope that never goes away. I stress a little with a strong hope that B marries a lovely, understanding, open, and compassionate individual that will always know that L is a priority in our lives. The partner that B chooses will have so much influence over what happens to L after M and I are gone. I sometimes feel a lot of pressure to make sure I do a good enough job...so that he knows that his sister is forever the most important person in his life.

We are 100% finished having children. We often talk about adopting from Reece's Rainbow, and in those conversations we do consider what that will mean for B.

Colonel Mustard: Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?
Wadsworth: I don't know. He's on everyone else's, why shouldn't he be on mine?

how is it that you are so awesome? ~Holly

I learned it by watching you!

Book Review: Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear

2011-10-19T21:35:00.000-04:00

Image Source: Goodreads.com

I had this book on my to-read list for ages, and thanks to Borders going out of business, I picked it for a steal.

I found this book to be a little closer to McCall's Ladies No. 1 Detective Agency than anything by Sayers, Marsh, or Christie. It wasn't so much a "Whodunnit" as it was a study in relationships, character, and the personal experience. Given that it was the first book in the series, I'll be eager to see if the later installments take on a more "mysterious" feel.

The story itself was very interesting as it focused on WWI--before, during, and after--which is a time period of which I am woefully uninformed. Though not a prototypical mystery, the story was nonetheless extremely engaging. Winspear does an excellent job of setting the tone of wartime England. Over and over again I found myself marveling at how I have never known a time like that. It seems to be a million miles from 21st century suburban New York. The heart of this novel is the experience of young men and women sacrificing on a level that most of us will never know.

3 out of 5 stars.

31 for 21: Numerical Pause

2011-10-19T20:43:00.000-04:00

ABCs (and 1, 2, 3s) of Ds

An Anniversary. By the numbers...

1~Dog
2~Cats
2~Children, complete with 1~extra chromosome, 1~heart surgery, and 10~months of reflux torture
3~NFL games at the old Meadowlands
4~apartments and 2~houses, in 4~counties in 2~states
5~Vehicles
5~Dave Matthews concerts
8~jobs/1~job
10~Weddings attended

More laughs, tears, hugs, kisses, arguments, eye rolls, beers, cheers, glasses of wine, jokes, sighs, giggles, snuggles, and dances than can be counted.

"And when the kids are old enough, we're gonna teach them to fly.
You and me together, we could do anything, baby." ~DMB

31 for 21: Q is for...

2011-10-18T21:54:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

Q is for...

Questions

As in yours. I do this every year. Barely anyone ever asks a question. Probably because my readership is comprised primarily of my good friends and other Ds moms. You all know the answers already. But, there are literally no other words that start with Q, and maybe someone will surprise me this year!

So, go ahead. Ask away. What are your burning questions??

Book Review: Lord Peter Views The Body by Dorothy L. Sayers

2011-10-18T11:12:00.003-04:00

This was a great collection of short stories, all featuring my new favorite amateur sleuth, Lord Peter Wimsey. The stories were a great blending of light and humorous, to macabre, to the usual surprise twist endings.

Personally, I love short story collections, too, because they fit well into my schedule!

4 out of 5 stars.

31 for 21: P is for...

2011-10-17T21:26:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

P is for...

Perfection
PICU
Pulmonary Hypertension
Possibilities
Persistence
People First Language

I really was going to make this a meaningful and heartfelt post of advocacy on the importance of People First Language, but then I read a 31 for 21 post from a fellow blogger that made me change my direction. I will get to that in a moment, but first, I will quickly touch upon my original topic (so I can say I did my part).

Munchkin is a person with Down syndrome, not the Downs kid. She has Down syndrome, which is slightly different from the audiologist who last week said, "Oh, I see she's Downs." She's a person. She is not a diagnosis. It's really easy, honestly.

OK.

Now, on to my post about the PICU. What really caught me about Tiffany's post over at Just a Little Muchier Muchness today was that I was in a similar moment just yesterday. I was searching for the nasal aspirator (because it's one of the four seasons, meaning Munchkin is a snotty mess) in a "personal care caddy" that hangs in our bathroom closet. Digging in the bottom of the large pouch, I came across an innocuous bottle of hand sanitizer.

I didn't think we had any of this left. The nurses at the PICU had given us about ten bottles of it after Munchkin's heart surgery. It's creamy instead of gel, so it smells just a little bit different than regular hand sanitizer. Just enough different to throw my entire consciousness to January 2008, and a cold hospital room in Manhattan. (Because, yes, compulsively, I smelled it.)

Since finding it, I've been debating hiding it somewhere. I sort of don't want to use it. I sort of always want to go and take a sniff of it. While Munchkin's heart surgery was a difficult time, I sort of don't want to forget. It was one of the most important experiences of my life. It was sad and scary but it was also the transition of fearing for my daughter's life to planning for her future.

Our time in the PICU was not "fun", but in an odd way, it was the biggest gift we've ever been given. Where would we be if not for that time??

O is for...

2011-10-16T21:13:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

O is for...

Opportunities
Orthotics
Older sister
Over, achiever
Over, do
Over, make

I have to be honest...I do not feel like blogging about Ds today. I was going to write about how exciting it is that more and more college's are developing programs for individuals with cognitive disabilities...thereby increasing the chances that Munchkin will have the opportunity to earn a college diploma one day.

I was going to write about how Munchkin's orthotics and how much I resisted them, and still do, as evidenced by the fact that she hasn't worn hers in so long that I'm not even sure they still fit.

I was going to write about how weird it is that Munchkin is the "older" sister, but that our family dynamic will never be that cut and dry.

I was going to write about how grateful I am that Ds saved me from myself. I suspect that without the pace-setting of that extra chromosome I'd have been one of those moms treating my children's lives like an Overachievers Anonymous Triathlon.

But then, after dragging boxes out of our post-Hurricane Irene basement (yeah, we're procrastinators here at Casa McD) and throwing away all of my grad school text books, pre-pregnancy skinny clothes, and all of the kids' keepsake clothes of the past few years, I was going to write about my desire for a different kind of "over"--a do-over. As in, if I had a do over I wouldn't have bought this leaky house. Or if I had a do over I wouldn't store important things in my leaky basement.

Now, I'm just trying to shake off the Bloggity-Blahs. I'm contemplating the most fun kind of "over"--a bloggy make-over. Now, clearly I haven't the skills for this, but it's fun to dream. And if anyone out there wants to help a girl out...

31 for 21: N is for...

2011-10-15T22:11:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

N is for...

NICU
National Convention

This coming summer, July 2012, the coolest event EVER is actually going to occur within driving distance to my house. Now, of course, by driving distance I mean an all day trip, but it won't require an airplane and that's all that matters.

The NDSC National Convention....

...is going to be held in our Nation's capital.

ARCK! And I can drive there in less than a day's time.

The biggest, best family reunion ever, and finally, I'll be in attendance, too!!!!!!

31 for 21: M is for...

2011-10-14T22:25:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

M is for...

M
Memories
Milestones
Mommy

Since Munchkin has turned four, I've had a sad realization secreting around in the back of my mind...

I distinctly remember being four. I remember meeting my sister for the first time. I have memories of attending Nursery School. I remember falling out of my dad's car while driving down the street and breaking my nose. I remember the friends I played with. I remember freaking out in the mall because my parents were having my sister's pictures taken and not mine, resulting in the cutest, pig-tailed, tear-stained professional photos of me.

I'm not always sure that Munchkin is going to remember being four. I say this without judgement aimed at my daughter...but I can see that she is not the same at four as I was. I can't really put it into words, but it makes me sad. I guess for the first three years of her life, all I had to do was not compare her to other children. But now, she's finally old enough that I have enough memory of myself to compare her to me.

Trust me when I say, I don't compare her in a better or worse scenario, but it makes me melancholy. I guess what it boils down to is finally coming to a place where her disability really, really hits home.

I don't think I am saying what I am trying to say. Blech. I hate when that happens. And this is a way sad sounding post. So enjoy this instead...

Photo credit: Andy

Me and my girl at the Buddy Walk. Whether or not she remembers that day, I will!

L is for...

2011-10-13T19:15:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

L is for...

{Lucy}
Light
Love

This picture says it better than I ever, ever could.

31 for 21: K is for...

2011-10-12T21:33:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

K is for...

Karotype
Kennedy Krieger Heart Study

To be honest, I can no longer remember where or when I first heard of the Kennedy Krieger Heart Study, so I don't specifically have a story to tell about it. (Excellent blogging, Mama)

What I can say, is somehow we became involved in a research study being conducted through the Kennedy Krieger Institute, along with cooperation from Emory University, and several other notable research facilities. The purpose of this study is to explore and identify causal factors for the heart defects found in approximately half of all children with Down syndrome--Munchkin included. Our participation was easy-peasy.

The first step was a written questionnaire, which I completed and returned. I had to have all of Munchkin's pediatric, cardiology, and endocrine medical records forwarded to the research team. Once my questionnaire was reviewed, one of the research staff contacted me to do a phone interview. She was extremely flexible in her availability and I was able to schedule for a weeknight after the kids went to bed. I think it took about an hour, maybe less. Finally, they sent me two saliva kits (for M and me to provide) and a vial for a blood sample from Munchkin, along with a FedEx mailer, postage paid. I requested the blood be drawn at her next endocrinology appointment and both the research team and the endo's office agreed. We did need to do that twice, but only because the first time was disturbed by one of the frequent blizzards NY experienced last winter! (You have to mail the sample within 24 hours of drawing it and we were snowed in for almost three days!)

That was it.

And, hopefully this information will help future munchkins be born with healthy tickers.

Kennedy Krieger Heart Study for more information.
Dr. George Capone, the researcher heading up the project.

31 for 21: J is for...

2011-10-11T22:01:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

J is for...

Jaundice
Joy
Jump
Joke

So. Munchkin. Yeah. She's got this new "behavior quirk" that is is infuriating and hilarious all at the same time. She sort of "gets" jokes now. So when she does something that she thinks is funny she will come up to me and say "Funny?" At first I didn't get it, so I asked her, "Is what funny, honey?" Her response: "Me!"

Since she learned these words and concepts we've learned that she thinks all of her naughtiest behavior is "funny".

On Sunday, after the Buddy Walk we were waiting for a good buddy of ours to come over for a belated birthday celebration. Since Munchkin and Buddy hadn't really napped, I put them in their rooms for "Quiet Time" before our guests arrived. They were quiet. In retrospect, Little Miss was too quiet.

I'll spare you the details and will instead just leave you with the conversation that followed...complete with Munchkin's punchline.

Me: Munchkin, when you tell a knock-knock joke. That's funny. When you make a silly face. That's funny. When you make Mama laugh. That's funny. When you play with your poop...

Munchkin: Funny?

Me: No! Playing with your poopie is NOT funny.

31 for 21: I is for...

2011-10-10T21:39:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

I is for...

Ignorance
Inclusion
Individuality
Inspiration

Today, I could talk about the ignorance of people who don't "get" it, who devalue kids like my daughter because of Ds. I could write (and write and write and write) about my thoughts on inclusive learning environments and my goals for my daughter. Along with that, I could write about IEPs and the education of kids with Ds. I could write about how my daughter is an individual first--she is not Down syndrome, she is not the myths or misconceptions. She is Munchkin, in all her individualized glory.

But, above all these things, I want to use this space to lift Munchkin up as my Inspiration. This girl knows no bounds, no limits; she knows nothing but love. She radiates nothing but joy (except when she's being a defiant little beast, but I'm trying to paint a positive picture here, ha!). She inspires me to be better, to live better, to love better, to parent better, to be more patient, more present, more giving, and more accepting.

Inspiration.

Photo credit to my friend Nichole

31 for 21: H is for...

2011-10-09T21:18:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

H is for...

Hope
Haircut
Happiness
Hooray!
Holland

Happiness is the God-presence I've witnessed in my daughter's blue-grey eyes. Happiness is her goofy, illuminating smile. Happiness is the moment she hit that long-awaited milestone. Happiness is the pride in her face as she says "I did it!".

Happiness is the community that we are now a part of. Happiness is being welcomed and welcoming. Happiness is an 80 degree day dripping in sunshine and basking with friends and family as we celebrate Munchkin's life. Happiness is loving our family...the relatives, the friends, and the comrades-in-chromosomes.

Happiness is the Buddy Walk.

31 for 21: G is for...

2011-10-08T13:54:00.002-04:00

ABCs of Ds

G is for...

Girly girl
God
Golden Delicious Apples

OK, so maybe Golden Delicious Apples don't have a ton to do with Down syndrome.

But some days--many days--our lives don't have a ton to do with Down syndrome either.

Some days, it's about a little girl, and her little brother, and her Nana, and her Grandma, and her Daddy, and her Mama...

...spending an beautiful autumn day in the sunshine, learning to pick apples.

And, if you're doing it right. The words "Down syndrome" never even enter into it at all.

31 for 21: F is for...

2011-10-07T22:49:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

F is for...

Family
Friends
Firsts

(Hmmm. Probably the same Fs all families are concerned with.)

I was driving to Munchkin's recent doctor's appointment (perfect check up with the endo, btw!) with a friend, and I was telling her two of my favorite reactions from friends when told of Munchkin having Ds.

The first was from one of my goodest bestests (and she can out herself should she choose to) who said, "Oh, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard!" This, clearly, took me by surprise, but then she went on to explain how her father had played Santa Claus for children with disabilities, many of them with Ds, when she was a child. She was happy for me that I was going to have such a wonderful gift in my life.

The second was from another of my goodest bestests (and he can out himself should he choose to) who said, "I feel like I should say I'm sorry, but I'm not." I loved that. I loved the honesty, but I also loved the hope and the normalcy. I needed it in that moment.

All of our friends were so amazing when first told of Munchkin's diagnosis, but those two responses will always make me smile with the warmth of a beloved memory.

31 For 21: E is for...

2011-10-06T21:44:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

E is for...

Early Intervention
Equality
Ehhhh?

I don't really have a topic for today. Rats. I was on such a roll there, you know, with four whole posts in a row.

OK. Here goes nothing. I'm elated that our Buddy Walk is this week. I am so eager to participate!

Munchkin, the first time she "walked" at the Buddy Walk. 2009.

Rock on, Buddy Walkers.

Interruption

2011-10-05T21:55:00.000-04:00

We interrupt this ABCDown syndrome-a-thon to spotlight my "other child"...

The little boy who...

...isn't speaking in sentences, but paragraphs,
...has a jaw-dropping memory,
...can spell his own name,
...potty-trained in the blink of an eye,
...makes me laugh fifty times in the first hour he is awake each day,
...melts my heart at bedtime each night,
...utters each and every word with exuberance!!!,
...never.stops.talking,
...loves school, his sister, and his Mama,
...is only a month away from his third birthday!

During the dark, terrible days of REFLUX, I only slightly dared to hope that one day my heart would burst when I looked at him the way it always had with Munchkin. We had a rough beginning, Buddy and me, but he was so worth the wait.

I adore this kid. He is a marvel to behold, and I never tire of being amazed by him.

31 For 21: D is for...

2011-10-05T20:52:00.000-04:00

ABCs of Ds

D is for...

Defect
Diagnosis
Disability
Down, John Langdon

Blech. No good D words are associated with Down syndrome. So, instead, today's post will be a bit of a history lesson. Outside of the "group", I'm not sure how many people know why Down syndrome is called, Down syndrome.

Medically, the condition of having an extra 21st chromosome is called Trisomy 21. T21 is the medical cause of the grouping of symptoms called Down syndrome. If I am recalling my graduate coursework correctly, Trisomy 21 causes Down syndrome. Or something like that.

Way, way back in the 1800's, before karotypes, and surgical techniques to fix teeny, tiny hearts, before Early Intervention and the Americans with Disabilities Act, there were just people with this collection of symptoms (many of which tie in nicely with yesterday's post). In 1866, Dr. John Langdon Down identified these groupings of symptoms as one syndrome. And when you do something that big, they name stuff after you. And so, that syndrome became Down syndrome. It wasn't until nearly one hundred years later that the connection between the collection of symptoms called Down syndrome and that pesky third 21st chromosome was made.

As an aside, in the UK, it's called Down's syndrome. In the US, it's simply Down, no "s". I'm sure that somewhere in this alphabetical journey I'll find a place to post about "People First Language" where I can hop on my soapbox about how much terms like "Downs baby" grates my nerves.

Until then, we salute you Dr. Down!

31 For 21: C is for...

2011-10-04T20:46:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

C is for...

Concerns
Complete AV Canal
Cuteness overload
Characteristics

The list of physical characteristics that many people with Down syndrome have is pretty long and intense. I'm going to cover some of the most common ones and share whether or not Munchkin shares that feature.

Not all of the features are found in all individuals with Ds. Not all people with Ds have all of the features. Some people without Ds have the features commonly associated with Ds. I read somewhere (and cannot find it now to source it) that every single physical characteristic associated with Down syndrome is found within the general public. It's just that when you get them all in one bundle, it alerts the medical professionals that maybe a karotype is in order. Ha!

People with Down syndrome often have the following characteristics:
A flat facial profile with little to no "nose bridge", (Yes, Munchkin has this feature)
Almond shaped eyes, (yes)
Brushfield spots, (yes, my favorite. a little gift from god.)
Epicanthal fold, (yes, a little)
Protruding tongue,
Small, low set ears, (yes)
Hypotonia (low muscle tone), (yes)
Hyper-flexibility of the joints/increased flexibility, (yes)
Small(er) hands and feet, (yes)
A large gap between the first and second toes, (yes)
A single transverse palmar crease,
Overall shorter stature than same aged peers. (yes)

I am sure I'm missing some. I actually tried to do this as much from memory as I could, so of course characteristics that Munchkin does not have aren't in the forefront of my mind. Please feel free to share anything I may have missed!

As you can see, Munchkin is a pretty "typical" child with Down syndrome. She has most of the associated features.

But, you know, the strangest thing about Ds is that despite the fact that she shares so many characteristics with her chromosomally enhanced friends, she also looks a lot like her Mama did at that age. She shares many characteristics with her family, too. Like the shape of her Grandpa's face, and her Mama's pin-straight hair. Her Daddy's blue/grey eyes.

That's what I see when I look at her. Not that laundry list above. M's daughter. Pop's granddaughter.

My daughter.

31 For 21: B is for...

2011-10-03T20:00:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

B is for...

Beauty
Birth Story
Bridge (of the nose)
Brushfield Spots
Buddy Walk

Maybe today is a bit of a cop out. If you're being technical. I'd like to think, though, that there are a few new readers out there since last year's 31 for 21, so I'm going to repost Munchkin's Birth Story.

A tale of how it all began...

It really all started with a phone call in February, though I wouldn’t know that for another five months. The day after my 20 week ultrasound, the obstetrician’s office called to tell me that they thought they saw an echogenic foci on the baby’s heart. They told me this was a “soft sign” for Down syndrome. They asked me to come back in for a Level II ultrasound.

I remember being so scared. I couldn’t get an appointment for five days for the follow-up ultrasound. They were the longest days I had known to that point. I didn’t want to tell many people about this “complication”, but I was really struggling with pretending nothing was wrong. We were in the process of buying a house at that time, and had just put a bid in on a house I loved. M came into the room and I was crying. He thought it was because they had accepted someone else’s bid. I had never cared less about a house in my life.

My mom went with me to the ultrasound. “Everything looks perfect.” Sigh of tremendous relief. A few more months of blissful ignorance.

I felt my first contractions on Saturday, June 30…literally just moments after taking care of the final preparations for Munchkin's arrival. In the car after having the carseat inspected, I patted my tummy and said, “ok, Peanut, we’re ready for you now.” She listened.

The labor itself was horrendous. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was having back labor. This fooled me into believing that I was farther along than I really was. Sunday night I made M take me to the hospital, convinced this baby was coming any second. They sent me home at 1 cm. I felt foolish and vowed not to go back until I was sure she was on her way. The end result was that in a stubborn snit I waited far too long and my precious daughter was dangerously close to being born on my living room floor.

M was at work, so my sister took me to the hospital and stayed in the delivery room for the whole ordeal. I progressed from 5 cm to 9 cm in less than 25 minutes. No epidural. I was sure I was going to die. The consolation was that she came fast. I barely pushed. M barely made it in time. From the moment of checking into the hospital until the moment she was born…56 minutes.

They took her to the nursery immediately for observation. I was so disoriented that this did not alarm me. They said it was nothing to worry about, but they wanted to monitor her breathing. They came back quickly and said she was breathing fine, but her temperature was low so they were going to put her in the warmer for a bit. They took me to my room, but we stopped by the nursery so I could hold her for a few minutes. She was gorgeous. She looked like M's Mom, brother, and aunt. I was smitten.

It wasn’t terribly long until they brought her in to the room. Maybe an hour? I was eating and don’t really remember. Life was still too surreal to be keeping track of time. We held her. Took pictures. Sometimes when looking back I feel like something was off, something that I couldn’t put my finger on. But sometimes I think it’s just hindsight.

A few hours after Munchkin was born, maybe about 4 or so, I was in my room with M and his parents. The pediatrician came in to examine her. She was listening to her heart. For a long time. A really long time. My FIL, not one to beat around the bush, questioned the doc on the intensity of her exam. This pediatrician, whom I had never met before, looked at him and said, “well you know the baby has Down syndrome, right?” (I remember it slightly different. I thought she said, “we think the baby has Down syndrome”, but M and his parents agree on the original version so that’s what we’ll go with). M responded with “Excuse me?”, to which Dr. Bedside Manner replied with, “Are you the baby’s father?”. I am sure there is a lawsuit in there somewhere, but when it was relevant, I didn’t have any fight left in me. Needless to say, this woman is NOT my pediatrician.

“Well, you know the baby has Down syndrome, right?” No. I didn’t. I had always heard the expression “all the air left the room”. I had never felt it until that moment. It left the room. It left my lungs. It was as if someone had physically punched me in the gut. I was shocked. But given our scare way back in February, I wasn’t necessarily surprised. I wonder sometimes if that made it easier. That little non-warning.

The doctor then preceded to show us all the physical characteristics that lead them to the conclusion that Munchkin had Ds. After she left, we preceded to explain them all away. Her almond shaped eyes, well, M's family has almond shaped eyes. The small, low set ears, well, I have really tiny ears and I have always felt they were a little low. The slight curvature of her pinky, well, I have a good friend whose pinkies are slightly curved and she most certainly doesn’t have Down syndrome. We’ll wait for the karotype to come in, but we’re pretty sure they’re mistaken.

But, later that night, when everyone else was gone and it was just me and Munchkin, I unswaddled her. I looked at her feet. I could not explain away that gap between her toes. And in my heart I knew, though I wouldn’t admit that I knew until the next day when her new cardiologist told me that she had a heart defect and would require open heart surgery within the first year of life. When he walked out, M and I both admitted we didn’t need to wait for the karotype any longer.

When she was two days old, we took her home. Knowing what I know now, about how many babies with Ds spend time in the NICU, I feel tremendously blessed. We took her home, relatively healthy, and began the long process of rebuilding our reality.

31 For 21: A is for...

2011-10-02T15:10:00.001-04:00

ABCs of Ds

A is for...

Atlantoaxial Instability
Aspirations
Abilities
AML/ALL

It's been a while since I've done a laundry list of all of Munchkin's latest achievements. Some of these may be repeats, and I apologize. She's doing so amazingly well though, I just have to share it all!

Munchkin can...
*Pick out her clothes and dress herself,
*Wash herself in the tub and dry herself when she gets out,
*Put on her coat and backpack in the morning,
*Climb up the bus steps unassisted,
*Tell me about her day at school when she comes home,
*Be bossy to her brother,
*Tell me what she needs and wants, and more importantly what she doesn't want,
*Unload the dishwasher with minimal assistance,
*Help Daddy cook in the kitchen (she is particularly excellent at stirring),
*Count to 20,
*Spell her name,
*Identify her colors, shapes, numbers, letters, and a whole slew of everyday things (her vocabulary is too large to quantify),
*Turn on the TV and DVD player in her room to watch Laurie Berkner or Singing Time! whenever she wishes,
*Sing many songs, but most enthusiastically, the Sid the Science Kid theme song,
*Poop on the potty (not pee, just poop)
*Use her stepstool to wash her hands or brush her teeth by herself,
*Climb in and out of the car and car seat,
*Walk up and down the stairs,
*Jump and "hop like a frog",
*Do a somersault (almost),
*Run,
*Act as a leader in her classroom,
*Participate in church and Sunday School,
*Write the letter "A",
*Speak in 4-5 word sentences, and at times compound sentences,
*Request her meal preferences,
*Feed the dog,
*Use her imagination,
*Clean up her toys,
*Dance,
*Laugh,
*Have fun,
*Enjoy life,
*Make friends,
*Feel and share love,
*Give hugs and kisses.

As you can see, Munchkin can do just about everything any other four year old can do. Her abilities far outweigh her disabilities.

31 For 21 Kick Off

2011-10-01T20:06:00.001-04:00

Grab This Button

It's that time of year again!!!

October is Down syndrome Awareness Month.
October is 31 for 21 (Go over to Unringing the Bell to get your button and link to the site!)

I wasn't sure if I was going to do 31 for 21 this year. It's a lot of work. I've told our story, I don't have a ton to say specifically about Ds, and well, it's a lot of work! Ha! But my friend Ruth gave me a great idea, and I'm going to follow it.

The ABCs of Ds.

Each day, I'm going to blog about something that begins with the letter of the day and which also pertains to Ds in some way. Many of them will be short little posts, but I think it'll help keep me moving along. I've also put out a request on Facebook (and echo it here) for anyone how would like to share a few words about what knowing Munchkin has meant to them/you.

1 day for introduction.
26 letters of the alphabet.
1 post for Halloween
1 post for 3rd Blogiversary
1 post for wrap-up
____________________
Equals 30 days, equals almost kicking October's ass.

I've got this one in the bag. Happy October to all! Happy Down syndrome Awareness Month! Happy 31 for 21!!!

Clouds/Sunlight

2011-09-29T21:32:00.001-04:00

I can see clearly now the rain is gone. ~Johnny Nash

Today I wished that I knew how to take a picture whilst driving...and not end up in a car wreck.

The weather in our area has been foul for weeks. Well, really for most of the summer, but this latest dousing of rain has been going on all month. But today, despite the fact that I had needed my wipers while driving in to work, the Eastern sky was giving its best effort to clear. As I drove the interstate to work, the view in front of me was stunning. Gray, swirling clouds, low hanging fog, and the drizzling overcast shadows of the morning showers were being forced out by fierce beams of sunlight. It was so beautiful. Hopeful.

Not mine, and I forgot to grab the source. Mea culpa.

I've said many times that I see God in those sunbeams, when they project light onto Earth through the clouds. I needed that view this morning, because I've been under more than the gray storm clouds of late.

Of course, when I got to work the gray day returned, and the rain poured down in buckets. Right up until the time I was supposed to leave, and then it let up a bit. Just as this morning, though, when I first got in my car, I needed my wipers.

Again, not mine. Apologies.

Just as this morning, though, the light shone down from above. Traveling west this time, into the sunset, the Sun did its best to force the dreary away. Pink rimmed clouds so voluminous and puffy, it was as if you could skip across them. Or rest your weary head.

Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight. Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight. ~Barenaked Ladies

As I've explored, embraced, and cultivated a deeper understanding of Buddhist meditation, God, and Love, I've become sort of fascinated with the concept of light. It's the great rejuvenator. It encompasses all the good things: hope, love, joy.

I suppose in that sense, the recent rains have not been in vain. Watching the sun burst through the storm this morning was symbolic. Leaving the encumbering sadness in my wake this afternoon, and moving forward into the sunlight was a metaphor. And I appreciated them both so much more than I would have.

You appreciate the light of hope, and love, and joy so much more when you witness it beat back the gray, dismal darkness.

When I step into the light my arms open wide,

When I step into the light my eyes searching wildly,

Would you not like to be sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free? ~Dave Matthews Band

Novel #30: The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dororthy L. Sayers

2011-09-23T14:45:00.000-04:00

4 of 5 stars on Goodreads.

I liked this one. Not quite as funny or "lighthearted" as the others, but I thought it actually had some substance in terms of morality and ethics. It also branched out and explored the complexities of Wimsey's and Parker's friendship. They are often seen as allies, but this book really brought into focus the fact that Wimsey is not a police officer, and that there is a definitive boundary between the two friends. Really interesting.

This actually completes my self-imposed book challenge of reading 30 books in 2011. I think I underestimated how much I read!

Ellen's Message

2011-09-22T22:00:00.000-04:00

I am in a bad place right now. Thankfully, I just came across one of the most beautiful messages about life with Down syndrome that I have seen in a long time. It was a wonderful balm to my miserable mood.

Read Ellen's amazing post here: Down syndrome and Abortion

DSA Family Picnic

2011-09-17T22:04:00.000-04:00

Today was one of my most favorite days of the whole year: Our local DSA's annual family picnic! This is such a great event, held at a local all-abilities playground, with good friends and good food. Love.

I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking...

Since last year's picnic, we've mastered the slide.

And walking up the stairs!! (here with a friend)

Pre-lunch hydradation

There was Face Painting!

Was there any doubt?

Our Annual Family Portrait

And...that's our cue to leave. She was done.

Munchkin Goes Back To School!!

2011-09-13T21:58:00.000-04:00

Finally!!!!

During Hurricane Irene, the kids' school sustained some damage. The daycare section was able to find an alternative space pretty quickly, and so Buddy didn't miss much time, but the preschool had a slightly longer delayed start.

Finally, today was the day. Munchkin was so excited to go back. She really missed all of her friends.

A little fun while waiting for the bus!

Not only do I have a beautiful big girl, but I also have a handsome big boy!!

We have a daily routine: Buddy walks Munchkin's lunch bag to the bus for her. He is sweetness.

And she's off!! Second year of preschool is under way. The last year.

Next stop: Kindergarten!

Fragments of a Memory

2011-09-11T20:00:00.001-04:00

Everyone of adult age, and perhaps many who were mere children ten years ago, remembers where they were when the United States lost her innocence. Last year, I shared my story here. But of course, the memories don't end with the dawning of September 12th.

In retrospect, we know what happened. Play by play. But do you remember seeing the first plane hit and thinking "Oh, what a terrible accident." I can almost still feel the dropping of my stomach and the chill in my heart as the second plane hit. And reality hit. The stark and terrible truth hit. I've seen many accounts today in which folks seemed to recognize right away that we were being attacked. But for me, I did not. Not until the second plane hit.

I remember, still, a little later, tilting my head to the side like a confused puppy. A plane crashed in Pennsylvania? Yikes. Bad day for the FAA. Because my innocence (naiveté) was still that intact.

Afterward, I remember the American flags hanging from people's homes, store fronts, highway over passes. I was living in New Hampshire at the time. I had never felt so far from home, from New York. I remember there was a house I passed every day on my way to work. They made a huge sign from a bed sheet and hung it from their porch. "May God have mercy on your souls, because we won't."

I remember the first time I went into Manhattan after the attacks. I wanted to make my pilgrimage, but did not want to seem like a gawker. I remember visiting the memorial wall (aka wrought iron fencing) outside Trinity Church. I wanted visual evidence because it was so moving, but I didn't want to seem insensitive, and so I have a tiny, blurry picture from near City Hall.

I remember the terrible, sinking, shocking feeling the first time I walked off the train at Hoboken and glanced across the river. It had been at least a year since the towers fell, but it still jolted me. They were gone.

I remember...

It took me a long time, but I scoured the innerwebs and found a photo of the way I choose to remember. Always fearful of looking like a tourist I sadly have no pictures of the way I remember the World Trade Center. From ground level.

When I first started going into the city by myself, it was the way I would orient myself. Two large, concrete North stars for a wayward girl from upstate.

Image Source. Thank You.

On Second Thought, Never Mind.

2011-09-08T21:46:00.000-04:00

If it isn't already apparent, I won't be finishing the 30 day blog challenge I started last month. We'll call it the 26-Ish Day Blog Challenge and call it complete.

I've had a startling thought.

September is nearly half over already. Meaning October is right around the corner.

31 for 21.

I'm so torn. I haven't blogged exclusively about Down syndrome in ages (which is actually an amazingly wonderful thing). I've said what I have to say about most of the more prevalent issues in Ds. Finishing last year's 31 for 21 was so challenging to complete, but I hate to let October (National Down Syndrome Awareness Month) go by without marking it in some way.

So, I'm bagging that generic ol' 30 Day Blog Challenge. I might need those last few items to supplement 31 for 21!

I'm also open to suggestions for blog topics in October. Guest bloggers are welcome, as always. I suppose I could retell Munchkin's birth story one sentence/one day at a time. Ha!

Spin A Wicked Web by Cricket McRae

2011-09-04T20:01:00.001-04:00

Image Source

This is the third installment of Cricket McRae's Home Crafting Mystery series. As with the first two, I found it a quick and entertaining read. As a side note, this book is notable in that I believe it is the first book I've read in which someone "googles" something. Ha!

The tone of this book was fun: Sophie Mae is finding her voice, and it's rather snarky. She has a great blend of confidence and sarcasm, but served with a great heaping dose of self-deprecation.

My one complaint would be that I felt as if the reveal slipped past without my noticing it. I've experienced this with other mystery novels, too..it's almost like there are too many loose ends and red herrings to bring closure to, and it gives it a sloppy, hurried feeling. In this case, and without giving too much away, I am referring specifically to when we find out what happened to Sophie Mae's car. It just felt tossed in as an afterthought.

I'm curious to see where McRae goes with this series. Cadyville seems to be a small, rural-ish town. As we enter into the fourth book, is it going to remain believable that this level of lethal crime exists? Even Miss Marple traveled once in a while...

Up Next:
The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dorothy L. Sayers
Back When We Were Grown-ups by Anne Tyler

Indecent Conversations From Our House

2011-09-04T18:06:00.001-04:00

Setting: Dinner. Munchkin is offering to blow on Buddy's food to cool it off.

Buddy: No! Munchkin can't blow me.

Bwah hahahahahahaha. No, Buddy. She can't.

Artery Clogging Conversations From our House

2011-09-04T17:57:00.002-04:00

Setting: Mama and Daddy are contemplating tomorrow's breakfast.

Mama: Do we have any bacon for breakfast tomorrow?

Munchkin: I love bacon.

That's my girl!

Bittersweet Conversations from Our House

2011-09-04T17:36:00.000-04:00

Setting: Mama is walking down the hall toward the living room with Buddy holding one hand, and Munchkin holding the other.

Mama: This is why I have two babies, because I have two hands. If I had more babies, someone would be left out.

Buddy: Where are your babies?

Mama: Right here! You and Munchkin are my babies.

Buddy: Noooooo. I'm your big boy. Munchkin your big girl.

Giant To Do List

2011-09-04T15:23:00.000-04:00

Ugh.

Not. Enough. Hours. In the day. Not even with a three day weekend.

1. Wade through mounds of laundry. This is a perpetual item on my To Do list, though it has reached new heights as we've started potty training in earnest. Buddy is doing great, and regularly goes potty by himself with no prompting. Munchkin is really struggling, and in response, she has become intolerant of having a poopie pull-up. So she takes it off. In her defense, she tries to "dispose" of it properly. We've found it in her play-kitchen sink. In the small doll-sized potty chair she has for her babies. In the little toilet in her doll house. But usually, we find it smeared in the carpet, on her bed, in her hair, all over her hands. And on extra special days, we don't find it right away at all. Thankfully, she's good about telling us where she's put it.

2. Repair, restring, and create jewelry. I haven't done any beading in AGES. I have three pieces to fix for people, and a newly commissioned necklace to design and make. My church is hosting its first ever Holiday Bazaar and would like me to host a table in November. I've had no motivation to do beading, though. I hope I find some. Quickly.

3. Finish my 30 day Blog Challenge. I had three days to go and sputtered out. I found out my own husband doesn't read my challenge posts and it took the wind out of my sails.

4. Did I mention the laundry?

5. Get out of my funk. I bet if I could cross this off my To Do list, the whole rest of it would fall right into place.

6. Post a review of a mystery novel I just finished, as well as a social commentary on how The Blind Side, The Help, and Down syndrome are all related.
6A) I also have a blog post to write about Munchkin's new tooth. Yes, she's four. Yes, she is cutting a new tooth. Down syndrome is kooky like that.

7. Get ready for the football season. It's all about the New England Patriots, baby!

8. Send out Munchkin's Thank You cards. From her party in July.

9. Sort through my autumn wardrobe. This is depressing, though, and so I will need to revisit #5.

10. Get out of my funk.

Good times. How are you spending your holiday weekend?

And down came the rain...

2011-08-29T21:49:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 27: The city in which I live...

...spent most of the weekend under water. As did the city in which I grew up, which is about half an hour away. Many of my friends and family have been without running water and electricity since yesterday, with no end in sight.

We here at the Casa McD, however, were thankfully and blessedly spared any hardship beyond a foot or two of water in our crawl basement and about 30 minutes without Internet. It's been a somber couple of days as I reflect on how very lucky we were. Hovering in the back of my mind is the knowledge that we accumulated a couple of feet of water with our sump pump. If our electric had gone out, and stayed out, for as long as it has been out at my parents' and in-laws' houses, our first floor would undoubtedly have taken water. I say first floor like there are others. Our only floor, and the home to nearly every single thing we own. I'm grateful today.

I've seen a lot of comments from the general populace that Irene was over-hyped and that the officials in New York over-reacted. I think just because lower Manhattan and the outer boroughs didn't see the destruction they anticipated doesn't make it a trifling little storm. Irene left a path of loss and devastation, both of life and property, all the way up the East Coast.

One Thousand White Women, by Jim Fergus

2011-08-29T20:36:00.000-04:00

I didn't finish it. I meant to, because it really bugs me to leave books partially read (though I seem to do it an awful lot lately). I had been reading it for a book club, in which only one or two other people finished the book...and subsequently hated it.

In the little bit I began, I agreed with many of my co-clubbers' critiques, namely the the voice of the protagonist was so incredibly incongruent with the setting and action of the plot. Simply put: It didn't jive. Given that this was my early impression, as well as the chief complaint of the folks who did read it, I have decided to shelve it.

I Do ReDo

2011-08-28T20:52:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 26: My Dream Wedding

In May 2001, I became engaged, a dream in and of itself, and began the process of planning my wedding. Notice, I do not say "dream wedding".

In retrospect, I made a lot of mistakes in planning my wedding. And, to be clear, I am speaking specifically of the ceremony, not the reception. The reception was a blast, and I wouldn't change a thing about it. When I look back on the overall day, though, I feel that it is devoid of us. Right down to the wedding rings.

October 2012 will be our 10th anniversary, and my dream wedding would actually be a vow renewal. I'd love a "do over", a chance to incorporate the essence of us into the ceremony. Here is a glimpse of my planning list...

1. There will be sunflowers. EVERYWHERE. I can't believe that I chose roses over sunflowers (a flower I love so much it's tatoo'd on my leg for crap's sake) because someone suggested they'd be too heavy to carry around all day. Who the hell cares. I WANTED SUNFLOWERS!!!! And I shall have them for the I Do ReDo.

2. It will not be a Catholic ceremony. Neither of us are Catholic, and though I was calling myself such back in 2002 I was Catholic in name only. I will never understand why I thought I wanted such a trite, traditional ceremony that had nothing to do with my belief system, my views on marriage, or the fabric of our relationship. I will begin extensive research for other rituals associated with matrimony and see if any make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. If I don't find one that does, we'll make up our own.

3. I will still wear a fabulous white dress. The leading contender is this one:

However, I retain the right to change my mind and go with something totally Bohemian and flow-y, that goes well with my sunflowers. I have to do more research on this.

4. M can wear whatever the hell he wants. I made my scruffy, nerdly, hippie geek wear a tuxedo. I will never do that to him again.

5. It will be outside. Or at least part of it will be. And if it rains, well, we'll get wet. I chickened out last time, despite the fact that I had said I wanted to get married outside, barefoot, for as long as I can remember.

In 2012, my anniversary will be on a Friday. What better way to spend a crisp, Autumn evening than by celebrating 10 years exactly as it all began?

The I Do ReDo...Coming Soon.

Boogie Down Blog

2011-08-27T20:21:00.001-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 25: The first 10 songs on my ~~iPod~~ MP3 player.*

1. Dave Matthews Band - Alligator Pie
2. Limp Bizkit - Faith
3. Dave Matthews Band - Crash Into Me
4. Guns N Roses - Mr. Brownstone
5. Sean Paul - Get Busy
6. Down By Law - 500 Miles
7. Dave Matthews Band - Tripping Billies
8. Prince & The Revolution - I Would Die 4 U
9. The Beatles - The Ballad of John and Yoko
10. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Devil's Night Out

*I am not nearly cool enough to have an actual iPod. I'm rocking the Sansa. $29.99 and it does the same exact thing.

Novel #27: Unnatural Death by Dorothy L. Sayers

2011-08-27T15:45:00.001-04:00

Image Source

This is the third Lord Peter Wimsey (you MUST say that with a affected British accent, by the way) Mystery and I enjoyed it very much. Again, I was struck at how funny Sayers is. Much more so than Christie or Marsh, though I do enjoy their work immensely. I found myself reading entire passages to my husband or giggling out loud.

**SPOILER BELOW** (Sort of.)

The mystery itself was well done. I think the "Who" was pretty obvious from the start, and the main mystery surrounded the "How". I am proud to report that I figured out the means of the murder, though some of the other facets of the crime remained unknown to me until the final reveal.

Up Next:
One Thousand White Women: The Journals of May Dodd, by Jim Fergus
Spin A Wicked Web by Cricket McRae

You Learn

2011-08-26T22:22:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 24: Something I've Learned

Yikes.

What haven't I learned? The list is too long to even begin composing. Upon seeing this topic, though, my first thought went immediately to a poem that I had discovered somewhere between high school and college. (It was from Dear Abby or something like that, and I still have the yellowed clipping from the newspaper slipped into a picture of my great grandmother.) I still adore this poem, and its message, and since I can't possibly empty the lessons of my own life onto this page, I can share something that means a lot to me with you.

After A While by Veronica Shoftstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul

and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child

and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much

so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn

with every goodbye, you learn...

I'll give you a hint...

2011-08-26T19:55:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 23: My Favorite Board Game

I suppose my love of Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, and Dorothy L. Sayers could have been predicted decades ago when I first fell in love with the ultimate whodunit: Clue. Not to mention, it is the inspiration for one of the funniest movies ever.

2 for 1 in more ways than one!

2011-08-25T16:38:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day(s) 21 and 22.

We've been crazy busy the past couple of days. I'm taking a few vacation days from work, so we took the kids to a Down syndrome family picnic event at our local minor league baseball stadium. The kids are about a year away from really "getting it" but we had a fun time nonetheless. It was great to see Munchkin hugging on the other two little girls there who are close in age to her and also have Ds. Over the past few years I've also come to enjoy the company of the other parents, and it's always wonderful to get together with them as well! The minor league baseball experience is also pretty awesome. It's not as overpriced as going to a major league game. I enjoy the intimacy and the "for love of the game" aspect of it. I think it's something of which my family should take more advantage.

Yesterday, we took the kids upstate to visit our friends who live on a cattle farm. The grown ups all had a lovely time catching up and the little ones all had a lovely time getting to know each other better. Good eats and a gorgeous day made it heavenly. It is also the farm where our dog was born, and she was reunited for the afternoon with one of her sisters!

To top off our whirlwind week, my mom, my MIL, and I took the kids "Back to School" shopping. Which brings about my answer to the blog challenge(s).

What's in my purse?
What could I never get tired of doing?

Shopping. With my "shopper" shoulder bag. And getting new handbags in the process.

Since the kids are out of "baby bag" age, but I still need to carry around a lot of loot for them, I've been using a shoulder bag for a while now. Since I work on a college campus, I often have to travel to other buildings for meetings, and of course to the campus store for a mid-afternoon candy run, and I hate toting that large bag around for such a short errand. However, I wear prescription sunglasses and always carry my phone so not taking a bag at all isn't an option. Imagine my delight when I went to JC Penney recently and found a great shoulder bag (The Scarsdale Shopper it's called. How very uppity.) that came with a little wristlet sized pouch inside! Perfect!

It's got about seven dozen compartments, including the best little pen pocket right there in the front. It fits my wallet, my Kobo, my planner, my keys, my lip gloss, my change purse, my "lady items and other toiletries" pouch, band-aids, napkins, pens, business cards, Blackberry, sunglasses, and of course, hand sanitizer. And it's Granny Smith apple green, which just makes me smile.

The little removable pouch comfortably holds my Blackberry, sunglasses/glasses, and cash when I need to run around campus. Lithely and unencumbered.

Today, as I mentioned, we were shopping. And one of my shopping companions, who shall remain nameless, is just about the best purse-shopping-addiction enabler I know (one of her best characteristics, I might add), and so I came home with this adorable little pseudo-hobo, which is just perfect for the Autumn days ahead. Love. We told ourselves that it made up for the fact that Pre-Irene rains kept us from the outdoor outlet center nearby, where we would have run rampant through the many shoe stores!

Now you know what it's my purse when I am pursuing my all time favorite activity: Shopping.

AKA Muttering Mama

2011-08-22T21:08:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 20: Nicknames I have.

I've never had a lot of nicknames. Nothing that ever stuck, anyway. And the ones that did are super special.

To my Daddy, I am Punkin.
To my fella, I am Pookie.
My nieces call me Kiki.
I have some friends from an old summer job during the college years that still call me CRE.
And my friend Ant calls me Boo Boo, short for Boo Boo Kitty F*ck, from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

He's an endearing sort of chap.

The Writing Is On The Wall

2011-08-21T21:52:00.000-04:00

I'm not doing a blog challenge today. The question was: Something I miss. Time, Money, The Ability To Sleep In Past 8am On The Weekends, A 27 in Waistline, My Sanity. These were all top contenders. Instead I'm going to write about something that I can't miss because I've never had it, Chutzpah.

Last weekend, M and I were in the kitchen. We were bantering back and forth, and he said something off-color, and I started a response of similar off-coloredness, and immediately backed off. Instead of an edgy witticism, I threw my hands up and said "Man, I really am a repressed individual".

I think there are some differing opinions of my ballsy-ness. There are some people who would attest that I am not a shrinking violet, at all. I think there are two different reasons for that, depending upon who is the audience. First, there are the nearest and dearest (mostly my Mom) who will tell you that I always say it like it is. But I think that's just because they are the safest relationships in my life. It's easy to be upfront and outspoken when you know that particular audience will love you, always and forever, regardless of how obnoxious one might seem. M might also fall into this category, except for that fact that he knows me better than anyone else. There is a line in a Matchbox 20 song "I'm sorry about the attitude I need to give when I'm with you, but no one else will take this shit from me", that rings so true in my marriage. I am my sauciest with my husband, and not just because he needs so much redirection from me! In truth, he also knows why I am sure no one else will take that shit from me.

The second category of folks who probably think I am a stronger, more in-your-face person than I truly am are those who know my crass sense of humor. Long ago, I mixed up shock value with confidence, and I have been known to say just about anything in the right company. You know, to be "cool". This behavior has (THANKFULLY) reduced immensely since I reached my 30's but it was near epidemic when I was in high school and college.

I see this repressed attitude of mine here in the old bloggy-blog. In my real life, I curse like a truck driving sailor. I hardly ever curse on my blog. Or if I do, it's just a few shits, or damns. I think I've knowingly dropped the F bomb once. Why? I fancy myself a Family Blog, but more than that, I don't want to assault anyone's delicate sensitivities. When really, why the f*ck should I care? (ha! see what i did there?)

It's not like my blog is a fake version of my life. It is a heavily censored one, in verbiage if not content. I can't even say for sure that I'll change it. It was just surprising to me to recognize this (again) about myself while chopping zucchini in the kitchen with my husband.

It's shocking because truly, in my heart, I consider myself an assertive, confident, outspoken, unabashed woman. I have ~~mostly~~ very definitive ideas on life, and politics, and religion, morality, and my place in the world. I fancy myself a free spirit, yet I keep myself fairly tethered. (Or at least that's how it sometimes seems to me. Because even as I type this I can feel my Mom's disbelief! Haha!)

I was at a professional development workshop recently. The facilitator had us break into two groups. Those who considered themselves outspoken and direct communicators, and those who tended to be more reserved. I lined up with the outspoken group. After knowing me for all of 15 minutes, the facilitator immediately questioned my choice, but allowed me to stay where I was. We then broke off into two more subgroups, based on our desire for data/rules/order or relationships. I favored relationships and went into that group. As we began to look deeper at the personality and communication styles, though, I realized I did need to change to the more reserved group. I am more likely to accept things as they are and maintain harmony than question the status quo. I want things to be peaceful, and in harmony. It was only two days later that I made the "repressed" comment to M.

So for the past two weeks all of this has been going through my head, and I've been feeling sort of down about myself (because truly, I WANT to be a balls-out broad who doesn't take shit from anyone), but I've been unsure about the direction to take my mutterings and musings on the topic, and therefore didn't blog it. Today, the answer finally came to me. In the ladies room at the movie theater. Of course. Graffiti written, perhaps incorrectly, on the stall wall:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle". -Plato (or Aritstole, or JM Barrie based on what I've found on the innerwebs.)

Every year or so, I get all confusticated with myself over this inner-timidity, repression, push-over-dness, that I deal with. It's always sentiment like that scrawled on a bathroom wall that brings me back to center. At the end of the day, I feel that I am ultimately true to myself, even if the means of such include holding back a little just to be one less source of conflict and aggression in the world. I may never be able to blog about my sex life, or drop F bombs like I do with my friends over coffee, but that's ok. Because this cyber-place, and hopefully my presence, are places where others feel welcomed, and safe, and comfortable.

Yo tengo hambre.

2011-08-19T22:02:00.001-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 18: My favorite place to eat.

Down a small stretch of highway from our house, wedged between a row of car dealerships and a forensic psychiatric center, and located across from a waste water treatment facility, is the greatest Mexican dive this side of the Rio Grande. You can't miss it. The building is day-glo purple, like a sunset in Tijuana.

M and I went there for the first time in the spring of 2007. We had just moved into our house, and I was extremely pregnant with Munchkin. The place really does look like Sketch-City, so I was hesitant, but the food was delicious. Our previous Go-To Mexican place had refried black beans, and I remember on our first visit to the Cancun Inn, I asked for them. The waiter, who looked like he could have been a Flamenco dancer, sadly informed me that they did not have refried black beans. At the end of the meal, I told him I had ended up enjoying the traditional refried beans, and asked for my left over enchilada wrapped up to go (I was pregnant to the point that I couldn't finish a meal.) When he brought my leftovers out, he told me he had given me more beans since I had liked them so much. I was smitten and we had found a new Mexican place.

Over the years we have been there many times, both to eat in and take out. It's like comfort food for me, but what I love best is how welcome we feel there. I can take my kids and there aren't expectations that they are going to be perfect little angels. The staff always come over and talk to them, and often there are little treats (often in the form of quesadillas) for the little ones. The waiter and the manager always recognize us, and come over to shake our hand when we walk in. It's a friendly, lively, comfortable place with great food at really reasonable prices.

I'm sort of glad it looks a bit sketchy from the outside. It keeps the secret safe with us!

Novel #26: Here On Earth by Alice Hoffman

2011-08-18T22:11:00.000-04:00

Image Source

I hated it.

That is all.

Back On The Mat

2011-08-18T22:06:00.000-04:00

Well over a year ago, I posted a piece called "For Love of Yoga". I was really struggling with my practice during that time. I had been to several studios and wasn't finding the right "fit". I was frustrated with how motherhood had changed my body. Scheduling was always an issue.

I'm happy to report that I'm back on the mat, and have been so for a couple of months now. The college I work for has a community education program, through which they offer a lunchtime yoga class. Once a week. On campus. And it's super affordable. It doesn't get any better!

The best part (aside from the ease and convenience) is the teacher. She's incredible! It doesn't matter what I need when I go there, her class meets the need. It's sort of like, when in church, the sermon or homily just reaches you. No matter where you are. I love that.

I haven't done a Thankful Thursday in a while, but if I were doing one tonight, that's what I'd be thankful for. Lunchtime Yoga on Wednesday afternoons.

Image Source

A is for Autumn, and Apple, and Aaaaah

2011-08-18T20:44:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 17: Something I'm looking forward to.

Image Source

Delicious Autumn!
My very soul is wedded to it, And if I were a bird I would fly about the Earth seeking out the successive Autumns. ~George Eliot

Contentment

2011-08-17T21:43:00.000-04:00

Blog Challenge Day 16: A moment I felt content with my life.

I can't remember noticing an overly contented feeling when this picture was taken, but every time I look at it, that's the feeling I'm struck with.

M and I on vacation. No kids yet. Young, relatively successful, carefree. We took a long weekend to Lancaster County. I remember the day we left for that trip, we rode down the elevator with a girl from our apartment building, in her early 20's, all ready to go to the shore. I felt old and silly next to her, planning my vacation to Amishtown, but it ended up being so great. We had a lovely weekend, exploring the Pennsylvania Dutch country, finding out of the way little wineries like this one, eating comfort food at smörgåsbords. Perfect.

Definitely one of the highlights of our married life.